Aphmau SMP + My Inner Demons Oneshots (Closed Requests for now)

Didn't Mean It (Ein x Noi Hurt/Comfort)

A/N: Christ, school has been kicking my butt. I might write a bit less but since I'm on break, imma try to get more out! :3 (also, there's so much hurt/comfort here oml)

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Ein's brain pounded within his skull and his eyes grew puffy and red as he laid alone in his dark bedroom. The curtains were drawn, miscellaneous objects were carelessly thrown around and a sense of dread seemed to loom in the air like a dark fog made from storm clouds. Ein grumbled incoherently to himself while he stared at the ceiling, the tears from his eyes finally running dry. He then turned to face his phone that laid screen-down against his sheets. He contemplated whether or not to check his phone, ultimately choosing the former. No new messages. Ein threw the phone back onto his bed before shifting back to face the ceiling, the feeling of his throat closing creeping up on him once more.

Ein hadn't left his room that day. He hadn't left his room in a couple of days, actually. He couldn't bring himself to get up considering how he saw no reason to. Over the course of months, Ein was a constant nuisance to the other members of the server, constantly pranking them for his own amusement. Eventually, he noticed that he had started to cross a certain line, which eventually became clear when he accidentally sent one of his friends into a sort of panic attack due to him. An overwhelming feeling of guilt coiled around him like a snake and tightened his chest.

After that day, Ein didn't feel all right. Well, in full honestly, there was never truly a time where he completely felt "all right", just fine enough. But, this was worse than before. This was guilt that he was feeling, and boy, was it sickening. He didn't mean to hurt anyone, not like that at least. He didn't want anyone to get so upset, he just wanted to laugh. Laugh and carry on. That's all he wanted.

Instead, all he did was annoy everyone else, like always. He didn't want to be hated, but he didn't know how to live in any other way. The idea of someone caring about him, especially now, was something dancing on the line of impossible. Ein wasn't surprised by no one caring about him, or by anyone not checking up on him. He didn't deserve that kind of love, not someone as rude and reckless and careless as him. If he couldn't bring himself to care about his own well-being, how could anyone else? The thoughts that spiraled into Ein's head caused more tears to slip from his eyes, bringing him to curse under his raspy breath.

Before he could continue sulking, a sudden knock at the door made him startle, his body finally moving beyond a shift in position on his messy bed. This confused Ein, he wasn't expecting anyone to come into the vicinity of his home (due to possible pranks he's done in the past), let alone anyone visit him. A small flicker of something similar to hope lightened his head before it fleeted as quickly as it came. It was probably just Aphmau at the door after all, wanting to give him another lecture about how bad of a "friend" he was, as if the people on the server even considered him as one.

Another rasp at the door caused Ein to hurry himself off the bed, though he was still moving at a turtle's pace due to how sluggish he was feeling. He hadn't eaten anything more than a leftover box of Chinese food he had gotten two days prior to the accident. Despite his self-attacking body that was wrestling with the cold noodles from the box, he managed to pull a blanket over his shoulders and walked to the front door, the light from his blinds making him feel like a vampire stepping into the Sun.

To Ein's surprise, Aphmau wasn't the one standing at the door when he opened it, it was Noi. He had his signature smile on his face while he rocked on his feet and waved at him excitedly. "Heya, Ein! I just came in to...oh, oh no," Noi's voice significantly lowered at the sight of Ein, his sunken face and disheveled hair making Noi nothing short of concerned, another thing that surprised Ein quite a bit.