I can remember it. The Icy shame that Snaps my jaws shut. The fire that burned my cheeks.
The first time I was called "Tubby". . Was in front of my first Crush, and though I cant remember much about her. I remember how she had the most Beautiful freckles.
And I Remember how she laughed as one boy in class poked my belly and arms. Ridiculing me for being chubby. I was in the 2nd grade when my body started becoming my enemy.
It wasn't a betrayal over night with a knife but a slow burn that festered with each passing comment, each surface level compliment. "At least your funny.''
As though being a little bit bigger was a brand that labels me as undesirable.
The monster of Vanity is Unisex.
My nails would scrapped away every ugly lump and roll, to tear away from me if it could.
Id kneel on a table and scalpel the less Masculine parts of me, My arms are only tender enough if they are made of marble. This chest is only worth laying on top of, should it be of brick an mortar.
Id crumble at a softer touch of rain. I should not have been shamed for being me.
