i don't want to live, but i don't want to die either.
who wants to stay on this earth anyways? racism, homophobia, transphobia, taxes, actually growing up, bullies, robberies, losing, tax evasion, school, having to actually work for a living. that sounds like literal torture.
then again, there are friends, love, freedom as a child, beauty in nature, winning stuff, exploring the world, getting super rich, super drunk, living without a care in the world, and people who care about you. sure, there's a ton more other reasons, but those are my main ones.
death can be freeing. depending on your beliefs, you can have free will. no one knows what happens when you die. but i have my imagination and thoughts on it. i'd like to live like that. but i'd lose everyone i love. yeah, all the bad parts of my life will be over with, but what about the good parts?
so i'll stick around for now. see if my life becomes better.
for now, i'll try and live my life to the fullest.
for now.
