𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 || Jameson Hawthorne

ballad of a lonely girl

༄ "𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑."

"Lizzie, stop being so dramatic." Rebecca picked up a dirty shirt sitting on my desk and cringed. "Can you please clean your room?"

"Oh, sure," I said while sitting up straight on my bed. My head throbbed. "It's not like I have anything else to do. I'm lonely!"

Rebecca stared at me. "I can't talk to you when you're like this."

I knew I was being dramatic, but my life really did feel like it was ending. I hadn't left my room in a full day since my fight with Jameson, and I didn't plan on doing so.

Right now, I was focused on trying not to cry while watching The Notebook and eating all the ice cream in the house. Taylor Swift wasn't helping either.

"Lizzie." Rebecca sat down on my bed next to me. "What happened at the foundation party? I saw you for five minutes and then you were gone." She took my hands and squeezed them. "I'm worried about you."

"We fought." Jameson and I, but Rebecca already knew that. He was one of the only people who could make me this sad.

Rebecca's features softened. "Love is so embarrassing, isn't it?" But her head was somewhere else— somebody else was clouding her of thought.

Thea.

"I have a feeling this isn't about me," I said.

Rebecca's face turned a deep shade of crimson red. "Oh, Lizzie, I'm not not talking about—"

"Spare me," I said. "I know you love Thea." Much to my dismay. "And while I think there are much better girls out there for you—"

"Lizzie," Rebecca warned.

"I was going to say, if she's really who you love, then fine. Just because I clearly don't like her doesn't mean you don't have to."

Rebecca squeezed my hands tight through a tight smile. "We never talked about that night." The night.

"There was no reason to." My voice hardened. "I'm fine."

Rebecca tilted her head at me. "Are you? Really?" She looked down at my wrists. "Jameson told me what happened."

Oh.

My voice faltered when I said, "Y- you know— um—"

"It's okay, i'm not asking you to explain." Warmth radiated off of her body, and all I wanted to do was hug her until I absorbed every ounce left on her. "And please don't be made at Jameson. He told me in panic."

"Yeah, well, I won't be seeing him around anymore."

Rebecca narrowed her eyes at me. "Oh, you love him." I went to protest, but the shrieked laughs that erupted from her moth stopped me. She hadn't laughed— truly laughed in over a year.

Not since..

"You said you wanted to talk."

Rebecca stopped laughing. "Oh, um, yeah." The mood shifted as she laced her fingers through mine. "I should have been there for you, that night."

— 13 months ago

"Emily, you don't understand—"

"So what? Jameson and you are like, a couple?" Betrayal flashed over Emily's features. My heart was ripping. Bit. By. Bit.

"No, but I don't think you two—"

"You're so fucking selfish. I start inviting you to Hawthorne nights, and you take advantage of it?"

I stood up and walked closer to Emily. "You didn't invite me, Emily. We live pretty close by and if you weren't aware, i'm actually close to the Hawthornes outside of you!" I would never talk to Emily like this, but something was willing me to.

Emily smiled, an emily-like-smile that couldn't be trusted. "I think we both know who's closer to the Hawthorne's."

Don't fall for it. "No, we don't. If you call messing around with Grayson and Jameson 'close', then I think you should re-examine your life."

"Screw you, Lizzie! It's not my fault you want them both too." I couldn't even believe the words she was saying. Not only were they untrue, they were down right ugly. Cruel.

"I think you need to wake up, Emily. We're growing up." I braced myself for the fall. "I'm growing up. I'm not just a little doll for you to play with! So maybe I like Jameson? You'll still have Grayson. And no, Thea and Xander don't like each other, because she loves Rebecca! And—"

"What?" Emily said.

Shit. "Um, I don't, uh—"

"Rebecca and Thea? Seriously?" She shook her head. I'm pretty sure she was loosing it, but my fuck up wasn't helping. "And you knew?"

I gulped. "She didn't want you to know yet—"

"You know what? Forget it." Rebecca walked toward the door. Turning back to me, she said, "Go fuck yourself, Elizabeth. My life would be better if you were dead."

She walked out the door without another word being said.

And that was it, that was the last time I ever saw her again. The next thing I knew, she was dead.

"I think a part of me died that night with her," I said, swallowing the bile in my throat. "The fun, carefree version of me. But also the part of me that would be manipulated by her."

Rebecca nodded. "I know that."

"But, I—" a small tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. "I blamed myself. After that night, I promised myself I would never be happy again. Because the one time I had tried— really tried to stick up for myself, someone died."

Rebecca wiped a stray tear from my cheek. "Oh, Lizzie, it's not your fault. It was never your fault." She paused and inhaled a big breath. "I should have never, ever, let you blame yourself. This wouldn't have happened."

My wrists.

"I was scared. I knew Emily wasn't always the nice girl she came across as. But I felt protective of her. Like, if I didn't protect her image— i'd have failed her as a sister." I knew exactly how she felt, because I carried that same burden every day.

"But I don't like this," Rebecca said. "You have to be happy. I have to be happy." Her voice broke at the end. "It won't be easy, but it's a step. But from now on, I will always protect you."

God, the tears kept coming. "I love you."

"I love you too, Lizzie."
—
༄

a/n:

last chapter of act 1 coming soon.. guys why are all my stories going so fast I don't like this at all. anyways this chapter rlly proved liz needs closure 😗