Bearing It aLL

Ara's Response

Ara- ( glares at Riley in shock and searches for the right words to say, but feels like she's frozen)

Narrator-( they sit in silence for what feels like forever.) 

Ara-(inhales and exhales deeply)"Despite how much it scares you Riley, confuses you, or even makes you angry, I do love you. Maybe even that is a slight lie, because truthfully I am in love with you. You are incredibly beautiful Riley. I have no intentions to lie to you, you are not my charity case . Must I remind you? I don't have to be here ,I'm not obligated to do anything I don't want to do. I'm more than just some clueless happy little girl who doesn't understand ya know; So I would really appreciate it if you would think a little more of me because I mean something just as well as you do. Listen, you are important, and I'm sorry if anyone ever made you believe otherwise. Also, I know you definitely don't need my sorry's M.r Riley, but o well they're for free and free is always good because free comes unintentional. I have no intentions of trying to become your "shitty shrink" to try to fix all of your problems because, I just want to be the one that in the process heals and warms your frozen scarred heart. No, I'll probably never be capable of doing that completely, but you can bet your life that I'll try. I'll try because I see you Riley; I see that small, angry, hurt, brainwashed, heartbroken, confused little boy that grew into a nineteen year old figure of a man. Maybe your right , maybe I'll never understand completely  but I know what I know , and what I know is that you're the most imperfect beautiful angel I've ever seen and I mean that. You don't have to believe that, It'll probably never sink in , but that's the pill swallowing truth. Yes, this world has knocked a lot of people off of their feet, even me, but I like to think of it as a constant test and how you get back up is what builds your character. Yes, you've been through an amicable amount of pain , but I want you to know right now I'm here for you ; not just because I think you need someone to be, but because i honestly want to. I can't change your past, make It sound better than what It was, or even comprehend the struggles I'm clueless about now. I can't even change you If you aren't willing to change not just yourself, but your mind, and that's not an overnight process. I know that sounds like bullshit as you would say , but It's possible , not easy, but possible. Maybe It's foreign to you to believe that I actually do care and that I do believe in you ; and in your brain your probably endlessly telling me to shut up. Well I guess that's just to bad. You've taught yourself to push people away which is understandable , but I'm sorry to tell you I'm not going anywhere no matter what you throw my way. You don't have to be scared with me. I don't feel bad for you Riley, my heart just goes out to you because you've been broken ; but if you think about it, you've made it through the test, the war, the worst of worst and made it. You are a man, a bitter man, but you are a man and I refuse to believe that your heart can't be warm again and that the walls you put up are secure. We can debate and disagree on what you believe, what I believe, the way things are , what you say, or what I say is not going to make a difference. So please don't belittle me and say I love your mystery rather than you because your mystery is a part of you. You may not believe in love but I say It's real . The people that betrayed and hurt you in the past are nothing but sorry idiots. There might of been people in your life that loved you but didn't know how to,or people that loved u conditionally . That just means they loved you wrong. True love is unconditional , not momentary or misguided. It's the kind I feel for you and the kind I'm hoping you feel for yourself. Yes,i want to be all the positive you fail to trust , and you may have your outlooks on life and the world but life is not your friend It's kind of like your harsh mentor.  I can't change how you view things or how you view your experiences, but I can be here to give you my annoying input wanted or not. I can't promise I'll be here with you forever or as long as forever may last, I can't even promise that you and I are meant to stay together, but I can promise I'm willing to try my best If you are Riley. I want you to remember that I'll always love you even if me loving you like this doesn't work out. I don't care if you feel like loving you is unsafe , well so is bungee jumping. I trust you whether you think It's a bad idea or not. I'm trusting you regardless of what happens and I'm asking you to learn how to trust me, the same way you learned to be okay. So no,I won't let you be because you're stronger than you know. Riley I'm in love with all of you. So M.r 'Big shot' , I dare you to love me in return ; doesn't have to be instantly, but I dare you to allow it to happen. Or are you going to stay a miserable defeated coward I know your really not?! You may laugh , but I won't stop believing in you or showing you my heart until your feelings feel accurate again. Also, there is beauty in this world because God created it whether you believe so or not . There's a lot of good so don't miss out on it because your stuck or afraid. It's okay to be afraid, but not okay to stay afraid. Let me into your heart Riley and you don't have to expect anything . Just except the possibility of being hurt and know your going to be okay because you've been through worse, and in return I'll do the same. I'll give you time but I hope your hearts melts just a little softer and you learn to forgive. I hope that you move on and your corrupted brain becomes open minded because ,love is infinite , you can make and have as much as you want. So Riley, I want you to realize It's safe, safe for you, safe for you to love me back......"