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⌇ 𝐸𝒩𝐻𝒴𝒫𝐸𝒩 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗐𝗈𝗇 ⋆ 𝒻𝑒𝓂 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ⸝⸝⸝ 0.3k ⊹ angst, hurt ☄︎ mention of blood, implied death 𓂃𓈒
i looked upon the stars, wondering what were to have happened if it were me instead. his words rang through my ears like a lost, broken melody. that sad strumming of my heart, twisting at each thought. 'it should've been me.'
my tears streamed my face, drawing dried streaks down my flushed cheeks. i couldn't help but cry, because i knew it was just me now.
i wanted to sob, to really let the pain seep in and consume me, even if just for a moment. to let out a raw, painful scream at the cruel world who took him from me. my yang jungwon. gone quicker than eyes could blink. that instant where my rose colored glasses shattered into dark despair.
my head spiraled, insanity ladened and laced itself up in the back of my mind. my desperate cries as i sat next to his limp, cold body. his pale skin, his eyes gently closed. that sickness that took him from me.
i never expected to lose him, not so soon, not like this. i didn't even want to imagine the pain. the way he weakly stood, his lungs basically collapsing in on themselves. seeing the way he coughed up that deep, dark blood. his breaths short and hasty.
i did everything i could, even the doctors said he'd be back to normal after a few treatments. his condition deteriorated and they still said he'd be okay.
that image of him weakly stumbling towards me even after i'd told him to stay in bed and rest. those eyes no longer glistening with that bright light of joy. his usually red lips, drained of their color, chapped as he spoke those words. those words that broke my entire existence. those words that sing haunting melodies in my ears at night.
