Ruined

chapter 18

Lisa.

That night, I sit beside Roseanne and Bambam on the back-porch steps. We showered, ate dinner, and finished the daily chores. Sore muscles, stiff joints, leaden exhaustion-I earned every ache alongside my girl, and despite the sweltering humidity, I'm blissfully content.
Only two things could've made this day better. Bringing Felix home and killing my father.
Roseanne reclines between Bambam and me, arms braced behind her and face tilted toward the stars. Beneath her serene expression, the long day weighs heavily on her eyelids.

I examine the delicate lines of her profile, marking each long, low sigh from her lips. "You're tired."

"Just a freckle." She holds up a finger and thumb an inch apart and winks. "Is overworking me part of my therapy?"
She has no idea.

"Speaking of freckles..." I circle a finger in front of her flawless face. "Where did yours run off to?"

"Haven't been in the sun much and..." She shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe I grew out of them?"

"All of them?" I direct my eyes to her tank top, to the vicinity of her right nipple and my favorite freckle.

"Not all of them." She looks away, and the corner of her mouth crooks up.

My groin tightens, and my breaths deepen. What I wouldn't give to see that freckle tonight, to hold it in my hand and sink my teeth into it.

"I was thinking..." She stares out at the dark field and absently picks the dirt from her nails. "I'd like to visit Felix."

"I talked to him today." Bambam bends his legs on the stairs and drapes his arms over his knees.

"You did?" Her voice rises in pitch. "Does he know about Jaehyun Jeong?"

"He stays abreast of everything." I draw her eyes back to me. "Half the time, he's the one keeping us informed."

"I told him you're here." Bambam bumps his shoulder against hers. "He wants to see you, Roseanne. Very much."

"Hard to believe that." She pinches her lip, her expression troubled. "Last time I saw him-"

"His reasons were the same as ours." I tug her fingers from her mouth and hold onto them. "He was protecting you."

"And now?" She slips her hand from mine. "Your dad's out there, wherever, and I'm supposed to blindly trust that I'm safe if I don't leave the ranch. Except the last time I was here, you chased me away to allegedly keep me safe. It doesn't make sense, and I need it to make sense."

I share a look with my brother. "I'll answer one question tonight."

"In exchange for...?"

"Let me worry about that." I tuck her hair behind her ear, clearing my view of her stunning face. "What's the one thing you want to know more than anything else?"

Her lashes lower. Her brows pull in, and she makes a soft Hmmm sound in her throat. Then she flicks her eyes to me.

"How did you lose your virginity?"

My heart jolts, pounding a roar in my ears. Of all the questions she should be asking-about her safety, the ranch, our dads' involvement-she asks about me. A personal detail like that wouldn't concern her unless she's thinking about us. She's thinking about our kiss.
I study her as she studies me. The silent stare off makes my dick swell and my throat go dry. Christ, I want to fuck her, roughly and recklessly, until she screams my name and begs for mercy. But more than that, I want her to start living.

"It's...uh, really hot out here." Bambam hooks a finger under the neck of his shirt and tugs.

"How hot?" Her eyes light with mirth, locked on mine, as she initiates a game the four of us used to play.