alexa found herself on her own front porch. her brother, angel, opened the door, confused. "you're, you look blue. and cold." alexa ran inside, and straight to her room. she sat on her bed, feeling the warmth of her sheets, taking in the solace and comfort of her surroundings. she had left all of her things in the venue, but she figured it was fine for now. then she melted into her bed frame and remembered all the things he said to her. about her. and then she thought about how he lied to her. and about her.
why do people always say "i can explain!" when they can't. why do people make up these stupid, unrealistic versions of others in their brains, so when others mess up, they suddenly forget that we're all human, that we can make mistakes? she searched her brain for the answers, and couldn't find them.
she got up and walked around her house. she traced the expensive china plates' intricate details with her fingers. alexa thought about dropping it. and destroying everything fake, and worldly, and materialistic. and she set the plate down, because in a perfect world, she would drop the plate.
alexa was startled when she saw angel behind her. "what?" she asked, surprised at the hoarseness of her own voice. "are you okay?" alexa scoffed. "that's a pretty dumb question." he rolled his eyes. "whatever." he said. "i'm fine, don't worry, stupid." alexa said, smiling. "good." he said, walking away into his room.
her smile faded as soon as he turned his back. she noticed her facial expression drop and felt her face. do i do that all the time? she thought to herself. she strolled over to the other side of her house, towards eclispe's room. she lightly knocked on her door, only pushing it open further. she figured her sister was at duncan's house. in some ways, she envied her sister. the way she didn't constantly seek out our parent's approval like her. the way she could care less about what people say about her. and how smart she was. and that she didn't need her parent's connections or her looks to get her anywhere. alexa sat on eclispe's bed, staring through the window.
the burromuerto family moved into this house 3 years ago, when alexa was in eighth grade, and its the longest they ever lived somewhere. alexa used to throw temper tantrums when angel tried to bet her and eclispe on how many months it would take for them to move. and alexa loved her house. with its marble countertops, and the granite coping of the pool. and how it had its split staircase. and her and angelo. and how they'd run up the stairs, never tripping. and how they'd smile and laugh, and how they'd never break the china plates, because a couple months ago, she would've been dusting the plates, keeping them beautiful. the way they should've been. the memories of her past intertwined with the walls of the house, each detail holding a piece of her past. every facet of the house carried memories of laughter and innocence. and it was a difference from the things that clouded her mind just then.
the doorbell rang. angel answered it. "it's angelo!" angel called. the sound of his name when it didn't come from her spiraling brain made her heart drop to her stomach. she walked downstairs. angel still stood inside, staring at both of them on the porch, his hands in his pockets. "you can go now." alexa said, glaring at him. she closed the door. "i, uh.." he began. alexa looked down. "can i just have my stuff back? please?" she asked. "we need to talk about this, lexie! you do this every time there's a problem. you just walk away." alexa clenched her fists. "don't call me that, and give me my things." angelo backed away, holding her bag in his hands.
"can we please, talk? alexa?" alexa relaxed her hands. "talk? what do we need to talk about? you kissing my best friend? i saw it. and no, i don't care for an apology, cause you're gonna apologize and then go kiss her right in front of me at rehearsal, and in the halls!" she screamed. it hurt. it was an agonizing pain to have to see or even think about angelo kissing anyone but her. touching anyone but her. the weight of their bitter, bitter love lingered in the air, a reminder of the fractures that had formed between them. "you can keep my sweater. its cold in class anyway.' his voice cracked as he dropped her bag on the porch.
and she took that sweater, and she burned it.
