Re-Start

Chapter 2: Apricity

Spring, Year 2020

"Joshua, who is driving, speaks up, "Wonwoo scares me these days." His eyes remain fixed on the road, but his thoughts are elsewhere. Seokmin, his husband, turns to him and raises an eyebrow, curious. "Why?" he asks. Seokmin hasn't been accompanying Joshua on his weekly visits to Wonwoo, so he may have missed some details.

However, over the past few months, Wonwoo has looked significantly better. He smiles more often, no longer sitting in front of the TV all day with a doll in his arms, watching the same video repeatedly. If anything, Seokmin should be happy to see how Wonwoo has finally picked himself up."

"He looks like he's forcing himself to smile," Joshua says. "It's like he's trying to hide his grief by smiling and joking, but it never really leaves him. It's scarier than actually crying on the outside."

Seokmin hums, considering his husband's words. "Maybe he needs someone - or something - to keep him from feeling so lonely. Like a puppy. Or we could set him up on a blind date."

"No, not a blind date," Joshua shakes his head as he parks the car in the basement of Wonwoo's apartment. "I don't think he's ready for that. A puppy is a good idea, though."

"Let's ask him to come with us to the orphanage, then. We can stop by a pet shop on the way home. And I think we could use a third person's opinion," Seokmin suggests.As soon as Joshua finishes parking the car, Seokmin gently places his hand on top of his, calming the older man. "Okay?"Joshua nods and smiles. "Okay."

When they enter the modest apartment, they are greeted by the pleasant smell of cooking food and Wonwoo's cordial smile. Wonwoo invites them to lunch, which they accept. It's the usual routine - they come over for lunch, have a meal, and talk about trivial things, but never about Wonwoo.

Never about him.There are times when Joshua wants to ask what caused Wonwoo to change so suddenly. Last year, Joshua had almost lost hope for Wonwoo. He didn't think he would ever see his friend's smile again.

But at the beginning of this year, Wonwoo caught him off guard by actually smiling at him. The unkempt apartment that Joshua and Seokmin always had to take care of was now tidy and clean, with the lights properly turned on in the evenings.

Joshua had expected Wonwoo to throw away all the pictures and things from the past, but the picture of the two of them by the nightstand and the ridiculously cute doll that looks like Wonwoo are still there to this day.Joshua doesn't want to risk asking what caused the sudden change. It's probably better if he doesn't mention it at all.

He told their circle of friends, and everyone agreed that the topic was off-limits from that point on. They wouldn't bring it up, they wouldn't say his name, they would just move on. And so, Wonwoo became someone who felt even more distant than before."So, Wonwoo-hyung, we've been thinking," Seokmin begins. "We're considering adopting a baby and we need a third person's opinion on it."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Wonwoo asks in a casual tone.

Going out with friends seems like a distant memory, and he enjoys the peaceful solitude of his home. He would usually prefer his friends to come over rather than meeting outside."Yeah, and then we can stop by a pet shop.

Hey, Wonwoo hyung, don't you want to raise a puppy?" Seokmin asks excitedly.Wonwoo chuckles. "I'll come with you guys, but let's skip the puppy."

The pair exchange a perplexed look. "But, hyung--" Seokmin's whine is cut off with a nudge from Joshua's elbow."I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine," Wonwoo assures them with a broad smile, which makes Joshua even more concerned.

"You can stop checking on me every week, too, Joshua. It's not like I'm going to kill myself or anything.""Wonwoo!" Joshua snaps at his remark. "I wasn't checking on you. I was just--"