No One Else (Weezer)

Chapter 3 - When I'm Away

"I just got off the phone with Ian," Courtney says hurriedly as they pack their bag. "You will NEVER. Believe what he said."

It's been a few days since the fire. All I've done is sit at home and listen to music. Sometimes, I even listen to music AND make food. If what Ian says is what I think it is, I'm going to continue doing that until I can find a different job.

"What's the news?" I say, pushing my hood off of my head to look at Court clearly. "Do I get the boot?"

"No, something way better. Usually, he asks people to send in self-tapes and resumés. Buuuut since you're my roomate," They wave their phone at me as if to underline their next statement, "you get a free audition! TODAY!"

"WHAT?" I practically scream, then slap my hand over my mouth as I remember our super old neighbors that literally sleep until noon.

"I know, now that I think about it, that's pretty typical Ian. He's not great at planning."

My head starts buzzing with millions of anxious thoughts. I am auditioning for a comedy company. Today. Now. I have NOT had enough time to prepare.
"What?! Now? What do I wear?"

"Yes! Today! Go get ready, Y/n! We leave in 5!"

I can't believe this. I start throwing clothes around my room, searching for an acceptable outfit for a Smosh audition. I throw on a tank top and jeans, suddenly insecure about every part of my body. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do during the audition.

I quickly put my hair in braids and jam a beanie onto my head. I rush to the front door and grab my flannel, pushing on my shoes as I go. Courtney is already in the car, and I scramble into the passenger side.

++++

"Ok, so the breakdown," Courtney says, not taking their eyes off the road, "basically all you have to do is go in and improv something good. I think you're doing a Try Not To Laugh trial with us and a couple of the crew."

"Okay, I think I can do that." I mutter nervously, barely making noise. The rest of the 30 minute drive to the studio, I try to come up with funny ideas for a Try Not To Laugh game. Court says that there will be a person on a stool with water in their mouth, and I have to make them laugh. I won't know who's in the chair, I guess, because I have to be "versatile" with my comedy and be able to make everyone laugh. Easy enough.

++++

We pull up to the studio, and that's when the nerves really hit me. This audition will change my life, whether for the good or for the bad. I tell myself that even if I bomb the audition, I can still apply to be an editor. Still, with all my doubts, the thought won't leave my head that this is important, and I'm going to work here at Smosh. Something in my head just makes it feel like this is right.

Setting up the audition goes by in a blur. I meet a few of the cast members, including Courtney's best work friend, Shayne. Shayne is just like all the stories Court has told me. He's hella loud and hella short, but he's hilarious and extremely kind to me despite my nerves.

I greet a woman named Amanda, and shake her hand. She's mellow and calm, and she's about a foot taller than me. From behind her emerges someone who seems to be her polar opposite. She smiles and shakes my hand. "Hi! I'm Angela!"

"Y/n," I say, shaking my hand and trying to ease the pain after Angela releases her crazy grip on it. "nice to meet you!"

++++

The audition is fully set up, and I'm behind the prop corner partition, still trying to figure out what to do. The cast offered to do the Try Not To Laugh with me so I wouldn't be too alone, and they're taking their turns making someone laugh. I have no idea who the candidate is.

"Just give it your best shot," Courtney says, squeezing my hand. "You'll do great."

By the time my turn comes around, I still haven't come up with a solid bit. I chew on my lip nervously, and just as I'm about to go on blind, it hits me.

One day when Spencer came into the movie theater, we came up with a character sort of like a beauty pageant announcer together. The character pronounces all of the states wrong. This character in particular made both of us laugh the hardest, and I decide to go with that. I grab a stupid hat, give Courtney a thumbs up, and pray I don't look lame.

I go out onto the set and stop dead in my tracks. The person on the stool is none other than Lone Movie Guy, Spencer Agnew. Oh. My. God. I had no idea he worked here.

It's ok, I think, I know him. I know how to make him laugh. I heave a mental sigh of relief that at least he will understand the reference. Somehow, even though my work crush is sitting right in front of me, I am far more concerned with making him laugh than making him-

Nevermind. I need this job.

"Wehcome to, uhh, the Miss Ah-mary-ka Pay-ga-hent," I say, stumbling over to Spencer, and putting on the stupidest accent I could muster up. I see the surprise and shock in his face, and then realize he's already almost laughing. I feel the breath in my chest tighten seeing him smile again. Oh, how I missed his smile.

"Thee uhh, neyext chal-onge is um, eatin raw chyicken. Up neyext is, uhh, Miss Colraduh!" I shout, trying not to break character. Spencer turns around expectantly, waiting for "Miss Colraduh". When nobody shows up, he looks back at me.

"Well shiyet." Laughter erupts from behind the prop corner partition, and by the volume of the laughter I know Courtney and Shayne started it. All of a sudden, Spencer laughs and water sprays everywhere. I smile with relief, and look back at Courtney for approval. I hear a round of applause from the crew.

"Alrighty then, that wraps up our audition for Y/n here, so can we get a wrap on this? Remember guys, meeting in my office at 6." A tall guy with a beard and glasses announces, and judging by his authority, I assume he's Ian.

"Hi Ian, thank you so much for having me on such short notice." I shake his hand, praying they aren't too clammy from my nerves.

"Of course, nice to meet you. We'll probably give you a call tomorrow about the job." He smiles and walks off, just in time for Courtney to run up and hug me from behind. "That was AMAZING! You had everyone laughing, even Keith, and he NEVER laughs!"

"Thank you, Courtney, but I highly doubt I got the job." I pull away from their hug. "Oh my god, bulllshit!" They say playfully. "Ok, I have to run to the bathroom, and then we can go home and grab Chipotle. Sound good?"

"Great." I smile. Now that the chaos is over, I can finally think about Spencer. How on Earth did I not know he worked here? Is he going to think I followed him? Does he even remember me?

"Hey, Spoiler Alert!"

Fuck. He definitely remembers me.

"Spencer! I had no idea you worked with Courtney!" Unexpectedly, I find myself pulling him in for a hug. I'm not sure why, I don't know him well enough to be hugging him, but whatever. He smells like pine trees and old vinyl records.

"I had no idea you knew Courtney!" He exclaims, hugging me back. "You were great, by the way, I remember that bit from the movie theater. I promise I didn't laugh just because I was surprised."

"I believe you," I giggle, feeling dreamy that he remembered, "but I'm pretty sure I didn't make the cut. I was pretty nervous. And... there's not exactly a movie theater to go back to."

"Fuck, I heard about that! I'm really sorry." Spencer squeezes my arm. Butterflies.

"I'm alright, I guess, just looking for a new job." I brush my hair behind my ear and shuffle on my feet. Court is taking forever.

"Well, hey, worst comes to worst, you can come edit with me. You know, everything behind the camera. Either way, Spoiler Alert, I'll see you at work."

With that, he walked past me. Pine trees and vinyl records.

See you at work.