Teenage summer dreams

Chapter 1 - Thoughts and feelings

Chapter 1 - Intro
What am I doing? I feel like I'm falling down a bottomless hole, like i could just keep falling forever... For you.
I can't explain the feeling but no matter what I do I can't get rid of it! It's debatable of weather it's a bad one or a good one, or both? I love him deeply yet, at times, you can be the person i most despise but i suppose love and hate go hand in hand because if you don't love someone, it means that you don't care and if you don't care, then you can't really hate someone either.
This feeling inside is unexplainable. When I'm with him I get butterflies and he brings out another personality in myself which i never see apart from when I'm with him.
My name is Rosie by the way. I'm quite short (5"3... you can form your own opinion), I have wavy caramel hair and light blue eyes. I'm also quite loud and outspoken and I'm often straight up about things which I like sometimes. Sorry, sometimes my thoughts are very strong and my mind often wanders into the unknown. To others I may look like a mentalist staring into the distance while my subconsciousness leads me elsewhere. I'm 16 years old and have just finished all of my GCSE's... Finally! Since the ending of school I've been bored out of my mind except when I'm with him. I also apologise, you're probably wondering who 'him' is. 'Him' is Jake. I've know Jake for a few years and to be completely honest i wouldn't consider us to be really close but quite good friends. Since our holidays have started we seem to be spending more time with each other and getting to know each other better. It's very frustrating though because sometimes it seems like he has a crush on me? Or maybe its just me I'm not sure? I feel this because he does things differently to most of the other guys that I'm close with. For example... When I'm walking around in the late evening and I get shiver, all of them choose to ignore the chattering of my teeth and leave me cold, but I don't want them to give me their jacket because I should've been sensible enough to bring one out myself and then they'd be cold without a jacket on, but with Jake there's never a second thought, I try my hardest not to seem cold or shiver but he always ends up saying "When are you going to learn that we ain't in California? You need to start bringing a jacket out, but for now, because I'm quite warm, and for that reason alone, you can have mine" he makes me giggle then un-zippes his grey Hollister jacket whilst mimicking my childlike giggle in a higher pitched voice and softly rests the jacket on my shoulders... There's a moment of silence and I can feel his large hands cover my shoulder blades and I feel security and warmth as he does so. He makes me mad by resting his chiseled chin on my scalp because it just emphasises my height and he knows it bugs me, so then we go into play fight mode (which means me ending up on the floor getting attacked by tickles). It's obvious by my moods and savage attacks that the romantic moment has gone and therefore we continue our normal conversation now with him in his t-shirt and me with the long sleeves of his jacket hanging over my hands which act like a pair of gloves as I crumple the sleeves and press the fabric into my palms.
So as I was saying, he's not like the others, that's why I think he likes me or is that what I want to think?