I'll Be There

Seven

'Fuck me with a cactus dildo,' I thought to myself. 'Of all the times for Sherlock to catch me doing something I shouldn't be, I'd take all of those times and multiply it by ten. This can't be happening.'

"John," he said again, louder and more aggressively. "What are you doing?"

I sighed and turned around to face the door. Sherlock was standing in the doorway, just as I suspected.

I tried to speak, but my throat closed up. I didn't know what to say without causing Sherlock to get angrier.

"John, why would you do this? Why would you take this path again?" Sherlock stared at me with those big, green eyes.

I looked down at my dripping arm. It was better than staring at Sherlock. I couldn't handle the look he was giving me. I couldn't stare at his sad eyes.

"I became too weak." It was all I could muster at the moment. The blood was starting to drip down and hit my pants and the floor. A metallic smell filled the room.

"John, don't send yourself back into this downward spiral. I was there for you last time. I'm here for you this time."

"BULLSHIT!" I shouted at him. "You used my depression for research! All I was was your little test subject! Until I met Mary, I truly felt happy! She was the one who always there for me!"

"John, come here." Sherlock stayed glued to the doorway.

"Why would I do that? I don't want to turn into another experiment. Maybe you should leave, so you don't get tempted." I was on the verge of tears. I'm acting like such a prick to Sherlock.

I looked up. Sherlock was still rooted in the doorway. "I'm not going away John. I'm here to help."

"Are you sure about that? Are you sure I won't become-" I never finished my sentence. I was silenced by a blur of movement that stopped right in front of me. Sherlock knelt down and we were face to face, but only for a second. In the blink of an eye, Sherlock raised his left hand and slapped me across the face.

"What the hell was that for!?" I yelled right into his face. Sherlock didn't even flinch.

"It's your first wake up call."

"First one?" I asked, concerned as to what might follow.

"Yes. Here's the second one." Sherlock grabbed my sliced open wrist and pulled me upright. I held back a yelp of pain. He had a very tight grip on my wrist and it was stinging.

"Are you okay?" Sherlock asked me. The pain must have been visible on my face.

"No. Not at all."

"That's what I thought." Sherlock, still with his grip on my arm, led me out of my bedroom and into my bedroom.

Sherlock pulled me into the room and shut the door behind me. He closed the lid on the toilet and looked at me. "Sit."

I did as he said. He reached into the cabinet underneath the sink and grabbed bandages, cotton balls and peroxide.

"This might sting a little bit." Sherlock began putting some peroxide on the cotton. He then started to clean my cuts.

"Ow, ow, ow! That stings Sherlock!" I tried to pull my arm away from Sherlock's grasp. All it did was land me with another slap. This time, on the arm.

"If you keep struggling, it'll only make it worse." Sherlock just stayed focus on cleaning my wounds.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked, my curiosity suddenly getting the better of me.

"I'm trying to be a good friend. I want to help you." Sherlock put some more peroxide on the cotton ball. He continued to clean my cuts. It still stung.

"But why all of a sudden? Why this sudden burst of kindness?"

Sherlock stopped and put the coton ball on the counter. He looked me straight in the eye. "John, your wife just died. What do you expect me to do, leave you all alone?" He paused for a moment. "Plus, you do whatever you can for those you love."

I was in shock. "You mean, like platonic love? Just friends?"

Sherlock sighed. "No John, I actually like you. I thought these feelings would disappear when you met Mary, but all it did was make me jealous."

"Sherlock, I don't know what to say."

He took a step towards me. "Then don't say anything at all." He leaned in a little too close. There was no denying what he was trying to accomplish. A second later, our lips had met.