The Crowley-Lestrange-Lokison Cousins

The Plights of Teaching

Miss Aquila sighed. She was really not looking forwards to this, however, school policy must be followed. Gritting her teeth, she picked up the phone.

"Yellow? You've reached the Madhouse, I'm Sirius-Not-Serious Black, what can I do you for?"

The 'Madhouse' had originated as three pretty cottages. Then, as if by magic, it changed into a large, white, manor house. Nobody looked too closely, Tadfield had grown used to odd happenings, you had to really when Adam Young lived there. It contained the Crowley-Fell family, the Black-Lupin family, the Black-Lestrange family and the Lokison-Potter family. She had no idea what went on in there, only that at least three were criminally insane, probably more.

Internally, she was slightly relieved. Though Mr.Black was foolish and immature, he was better than Ms. Lestrange.

"Mr. Black, this is Miss. Aquila. I teach at Tadfield Primary?" She didn't wait for acknowledgement, continuing "I'm afraid we need Mr. Fell, Mx. Laufeyson and Ms. Lestrange here at their earliest convenience.."

"What have the kids done?"

"They shall be informed when they arrive." She said crisply, not bothering to keep the stress off of the they.
"Oh, one last thing, Mr. Black? If you could inform Mr Young and Miss Moonchild's parents as well?"

"Ha! You know they won't come"

Mr and Mrs Young, as well as Ms Brown, never turned up at school. Their children were at the Madhouse (so dubbed by it's inhabitants, and the name stuck.) more than they were at their own houses. Not to mention Ms Brown's profession. All things considered, it was easier to let Hermione, Harry or Neville's parents come in instead.

"We cannot ignore policy. Mr. Black. "

She could hear the smirk in his voice
"Hell forbid. See you soon! Ta-ta"

She gladly tossed the phone down. Phew. Easy bit over with. Now she just had to face three (who was she kidding? There was never three) parents. Oh, she was doomed.

You see, when Neville, Hermione and Harry started school, she had never kept a particular eye on them, they looked innocent enough. That was a rookie mistake, she learnt.

First off, the trio were best friends with the Them. In fact, they turned out to be actively in Adam Young's little gang. Second, their parents knew about and endorsed their chaos! Oh, some of them pretended they didn't, but she was no fool. That Mx.Laufeyson was a blatant enabler, Mx. Crowley wasn't much better, Mr. Black was one step from giving the Them carte blanche, and the less said about the Lestrange twins the better...

Anyway, she had learned to dread bringing in any Madhouse members for anything at all.

The first time, Mr and Mr Lestrange came, along with with Mr. Fell and Mx.Crowley. She had questioned them, saying that she really needed three parents from the three families at least , when the twins had produced signed forms saying they were Harry and Neville's respective Secondary Guardians. That trick was pulled many times, with Mr.Black, Mx Crowley, Mr. Fell, Mr Lupin, even Mx. Laufeyson! In the end she had given up and let whichever members of the families were in the mood, troup into her office.

The second time, Mr. Black had looked her up and down lasciviously and practically purred, "You're welcome to join me and Remus anytime, sweetheart"
She had snapped at him, if memory served, and booted him out of her office with great glee the second the meeting was over.

Not to mention, any time they came, regardless of whether they were a he or a she, Mx. Laufeyson always turned heads. It was even worse when Mx. Crowley was with them, the two of them flirted with anything on legs! Her staff always hung around when they came in.

Oh, and there was the time when they had got in, everything was going well, Harry and Hermione were sitting quietly (Neville was off sick) when Mr. Lestrange No 1 got a call. He told her he wouldn't be a minute, and spent hours jabbering away to someone in a strange, unfamiliar language that everyone in the office (but her) joined in with, making unintelligible comments in the same language, although Mx. Crowley, Mx. Laufeyson and Harry seemed almost to hiss. Heaven, for all she knew, they could be talking to another member of the Madhouse! After three hours she unceremoniously dismissed them.

And when Mr. Fell had declared
"Marvellous!" just as she was detailing how Hermione had climbed onto the roof by way of ivy, and had loudly declared Shakespeare from the rafters while balancing on a spire.
She had looked accusingly at him and in defence, he held up a newspaper with a blue-eyed look of innocence.
"Seven down, a pleased or proud expression of joy or celebration, 10 letters."
Somehow, she doubted this, especially as, throughout her retellings of the trouble Hermione had caused, he kept exclaiming
"Wonderful!" "Amazing!" "Stupendous!" "Spiffing!" "Incredible!" "Fantastic!"
And other synonyms. It took a well-timed "Magnificent!" for her to snap and send him and Hermione home.

Safe to say, she didn't have high hopes for this one.

15 minutes later

She strolled to the window and looked out. Just pulling up was Mx. Crowley's black car. That was another thing, no matter how many came, they all somehow squeezed into the black or yellow Bentley. Who was it going to be today? Mr.Black got out, followed by Ms. Lestrange, Mx. Laufeyson and Mx. Crowley. Well, at least there was one biological representation for each child.

Soon the four were outside her office. She could hear them talking to Harry, Hermione and Neville outside before there was a sharp knock on her door. Steeling herself, she opened the door to reveal Mr. Lupin, Mr. Lestrange (husband not brother), Mx. Laufeyson, and Mr. Fell. She may have done a double take. She had seen a different four exit the car! She'd swear it! Hiding her confusion, she invited them in. The children followed which was annoying, she had hoped to talk to the parents alone.

"I presume you want to know why you're here?"

Half an hour later she was watching them drive away, not pleased at all.

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Hope you enjoyed!
Did I write this in one go when I need to write my other WIPs ? Yes. Yes I did.

L.L

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