Demonic Lulladies

Void Of Life

Void Of Life
By Sitarra "LullaDIEs" Sefton

-

It's hard to explain,
The emptiness I pertain.

There's not even a black void,
All of Me was destroyed.

A piece of Me I tried to maintain,
I failed; a victim to the mundane.

This is what I tried to avoid,
The idea use to make me paranoid.

Love, Lust, Hate, Joy, Sorrow,
Concepts lost to tomorrow.

Empathy, Compassion, Vengeance,
Ideas that've taken their absence.

It's gone, leaving this body hollow,
The knowledge, surprisingly easy to swallow.

This void has a strong resemblance,
To a strangers blank indifference.

There's no desire to fight,
No beauty left in the night.

I can't find a purpose to live,
If I said one, it'd be a fib.

I reached my peak, and now I descend,
No more psychotic accomplishments.

I want to feel like I did once more,
I want to feel anything! Even bored.

I felt the pressure of tidal waves,
I cried the tears of flood rains.

I despised the world bitterly,
I destroyed lives; literally.

I watched a free man become a slave,
I saw anarchists suddenly behave.

I met men who touch children sexually,
And societies who look away deliberately.

I listened to the people scheme,
I made a man of God blaspheme.

I've seen heroes become villains overnight,
I watched bombs drop on kids filled with fright.

I know innocent men serving life terms,
And so much more that made my stomach turn.

I've seen horrors go past the extreme,
I watched helplessly and silently screamed.

I felt myself begin to suffocate,
On an evil only man can fabricate.

I begged for the pain of my hate to end,
As the world continued to openly offend.

I heard the grotesque lies propagate,
Watched people too dumb to retaliate.

I've listened as ignorance was spewed,
And drank up by the mindless multitude.

I felt myself get pushed to the edge,
I remember the feeling of teetering on a ledge.

I felt my sanity as it began to descend.
Then a demon became my only friend.

Moving into my brain like a voice,
Without giving me a choice.

He showed me how to use my hate,
And taught me the truth of my fate.

For years, the anger was all I had,
The feeling never registered as bad.

But hopelessness soon overcame rage,
It trapped me inside it's mental cage.

I had so many questions with so few answers,
Burning through me faster than cancer.

But it seemed I was the only one asking,
Like everyone else was knowledge fasting.

And I can't make right what no one sees as wrong,
I can't make a Knight out of a simple Pawn.

And I can't walk the line if I was misled,
I can't possibly be alive if inside I am dead.

And then I lost my faith in the demon's plan,
As I looked at the horrors of this land.

And the demon left, without warning,
He must have known I was conforming.

With him he took my anger and despair,
And every other emotion I could bare.

I felt emotions, once before,
Feelings I have no hope to restore.

There's no hatred left to restrain,
There's nothing left in life to obtain.

I feel nothing, except maybe half dead,
The Devil himself couldn't fill me with dread.

My soul is the casualty,
Fallen to my eternal enemy.

This world, and all it's unspoken sins,
Has me completely and utterly convinced,

That none of you have any feelings too,
You're faking it, leading each other askew.

How could you possibly feel?
How could you possibly deal?!

How could you live in this world and care,
And not be paralyzed by despair?

I almost died giving a damn,
I broke my spine taking a stand.

I bled every once of blood I had,
To keep you all from seeing it got this bad.

I sold my soul to give you a better world!
My sacrifice has left me crippled.

I can’t care now, there’s nothing left.
I’m numb, can’t even come up with a clever jest.

But you’re all walking around like everything’s fine,
“La-de-da-de-da. Hi Lulla, you writing a new story tonight?”

Before that use to make me mad,
Like, “No, I’m trying to survive my head”.

But now, I’m just like, “I can’t. He’s gone.”
And He’s been gone for so painfully long.

My demon, My muse, My love,
Please, enough is enough.

Come back to my unwell mind,
Show me how to make it all fine.

Remind me how to feel,
Share with me your ideals.

This is me, living void of life.
Night after night, after night...

Waiting for something to change,
To once again hear a voice that’s strange.

… It's hard to explain,
The emptiness I pertain.

There's not even a black void,
All of Me was destroyed.

A piece of Me I tried to maintain,
I failed; a victim to the mundane.