Ace of Spades (Mc No limits Book 2)

Chapter 14

Nora

When Dr. Owen entered the house, she was not what I expected. Standing in front of me was a woman in her early thirties, her long black wavy hair framing her porcelain face and her gray eyes looking at me kindly.
"I'll leave you alone," Ace said, and she nodded kindly.
"You're not what I expected, Dr. Owen," I said to her, and she smiled.
“Don’t worry, I hear that all the time. Nora, right?” She asked.
I nodded and watched as she made herself comfortable on the couch I had invited her to.
“You can call me Emily,” she said kindly.
After Ace and the others' stories, I was confused, I had the image of an older lady in my mind. "I'm sorry I'm so confused, I thought you were older," I said to her.
“Don’t worry, Nora, I’m good at what I do,” she told me encouragingly.
To loosen me up, she talked briefly about herself and took out a small notebook and a pen.
"What do you want to tell me?" She asked me.
“What do I want to tell?” I asked, confused.
“You can tell me whatever you want, there is no pressure in our conversations. And no one will know a thing you tell me, Nora.” She always explained things to me in a friendly and understanding way.
"I don't know what..." I started, looking up at her as she closed her notebook and looked at me. “As a child, I was raped by my neighbor. He cut my throat and thought I was dead. But I survived. I have dedicated my entire life to helping others who have had traumatic experiences. You can tell me whatever you want, Nora, I will understand." She said to me and I swallowed hard as I looked at the scar on her neck that she showed me.
"How...how could you keep living?" I asked her.
"I went to therapy for years. After that, I wanted to do the same thing my therapist did for me. I was a prodigy, a child with great talent who used her strengths to achieve her dream," she explained.
"Can I be...Okay too?" I asked her.
"You're a strong woman, Nora. And I'm here to help you...if you let me," she said encouragingly.
I didn't trust people, but seeing her like that gave me courage, maybe I could be normal one day. Doc said she helps him too and has already helped many of the victims, so I gave it a chance and started telling the story. She didn't ask questions and just listened which encouraged me, and I opened up. I don't know how long we sat there, and she just listened, her eyes showed no pity, and her face never changed its friendly aura.
"I understand," she said as I paused and started to cry.
"I'm sorry," I said as I sobbed, and she shook her head.
"You don't have to be sorry, Nora. It's all part of the processing," she explained to me.

Phase 1: state of shock.
Phase 2: repression.
Phase 3: Anger.
Stage 4, where I am now: Grief.
Phase 5: Battle Mode.
Phase 6: Acceptance.
Phase 7: Letting go.
So she explained it to me, and I tried to understand.
I began to tell her more about what I saw and experienced. More than Grace knew and more than Ace knows. If she could help me, I wanted it with all of my being. I wanted to be okay...
"How are you now?" she asked me, and I looked up at her.
"I often dream about it...I see things in front of me that I experienced and only remember them through sounds...smells. It lives in my head, I'm still trapped with it. I smell my burnt skin and the cigarette being put out...I taste my blood in my mouth and hear his words...and the little red lamp from the camera...I see it in front of me. It haunts me," I said sadly.
"I understand," she said again to me.
"I thought for days I was dreaming. This was just an illusion, a dream when I was unconscious. Not real... But these people were very understanding of me. Evelyn... Alice... Ivy... Ace," I said.
"You and Ace?" she asked, and I lowered my head shyly.
"Oh no, Nora, that's good!" she said to me. "It's important for you to continue living. There's nothing bad about that," she said encouragingly.
"He was here for me from the beginning...He got me," I said smiling as I thought of Ace.
"That's good, you need stability. A regular daily routine. Contact with people. Everything will take time, but you're doing great," she said to me, smiling.
"Will I ever be able to be...well, normal with Ace?" I asked her.
"Normal?" she asked in surprise.
"Intimate?" I asked with blushing cheeks.
"Oh, I see...Nora, no one can tell you when you're ready for it. You have to know. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages," she explained, and I looked up at her. "Physical contact can trigger your trauma. You have to do everything only if you really want it. And set boundaries if you don't feel comfortable and stop before you do something you don't want to do... When I think about everything you said about Ace, he's understanding. You just have to explain to him and talk to him," she told me.
"What if it doesn't work? What if I panic?" I asked her.
"What are you afraid of? That he'll leave you?" she asked me.
"No...he wouldn't do that. I'm afraid of disappointing him. I've never had sex with a man voluntarily. Before Ted kidnapped me, I was a virgin," I said quietly.
"Just do what you're ready for, Nora. Everything will take time. Your dealings with other people, especially men. Trust in others and getting your life under control is going to be a daily fight," she said. "If you can talk to him about it, that's good...If not, then it will take time. It's wrong if you want to force it. Do it just for the right reasons. When you're ready, when you want it," she added encouragingly.
I thought about her words, and she looked at me.
"Why do you like Ace so much? Because he saved you?" she asked me.
"No.. he gives me security. He is understanding and caring towards me. He makes me forget how damaged I am. I see his face in the darkness, and it comforts me to know that he is here. I am in love with his laugh ...his voice, his good heart," I said, smiling.
"And they're all really good-looking here," she said with a laugh as she briefly jumped out of character.
I nodded and had to laugh... even though I doubted her at the start, she made me feel good.
"We'll have therapy twice a week until you move. Then you can find another therapist if you want," she said to me.
"Move..." I said quietly.
"That's the procedure, Nora. When you're ready, and everything is behind you, you move and start a new life. That's why I told you just do what you think is right with Ace," she explained.
"I understand," I replied, my sadness clearly visible.
"I'll come back in three days, and we'll talk more," she said as she got up and packed up her things. I walked her to the car and hugged her in gratitude.

Ace came to me as I watched Dr. Owen drive away. He asked me if I was okay, even though I could tell something was bothering him. He was worried about me going away, about leaving him. I knew if I wanted that he wouldn't stop me even though he didn't want me to leave. The only thing he wanted was for me to be okay, and if I left him, he would accept it just so I can be happy. But I didn't want to leave when he asked me to be his Ol' Lady, I was over the moon. He really wanted me, and I wanted him, and staying here is what made me happy.
"I want to give you something," he said as he pulled a bracelet out of his pocket. "It has a," he began to explain, "GPS chip. I know," I said, and he looked at me with raised eyebrows.
" Is it OK for you?" he asked worriedly.
"I know what it is for. Alice explained it to me. It's ok," I said and smiled.

As he put it on my wrist, Ace asked me if it was ok to announce to everyone that I was staying here as his Ol' Lady, and I thought of Dr. Owen's words. I had to take charge of my life and face my fears, and with Ace by my side, I could do that. As we stood in front of the bar, I took a deep breath, and I felt Ace lightly squeeze my hand. He was here with me...He got me.
When everyone turned to us as we walked in, I was scared. So many eyes on us. I held onto Ace, and he looked down at me. He announced my decision to the club, and I jumped when they started cheering. Their faces were happy and laughing for us as they cheered, which calmed me down. Alice and Ivy came over and hugged me, and Ace was pulled to their table by his brothers. He kept turning to me to see how I was doing, and I smiled at him.
"I'm so proud of you and so happy for both of you," Alice said as we sat at a table full of women. "Welcome to the Ol' Ladies Club," Ivy shouted and howled like a coyote, causing all the women to clap on the table and cheer.
I was so happy with the support and friendship they showed me, and when Evelyn came to us, she hugged me. We shared a few tears in our embrace, and she looked at me smiling.
"I'm so happy for you," Evelyn said as she smiled.
We sat together and talked, laughed, and celebrated. They helped me when I wasn't able to help myself, and I was ready now to fight for my life. Ace kept his gaze on me the whole time and smiled at me when he saw me happy. I was happy for the first time in a long chapter of my life. I didn't feel strange, not afraid, and not overwhelmed. I was right where I belonged with friends... and family.