Fix: A Two-Part Story

Fall, age 16

Two months passed since Gage started his new life in Connersville. Even after trying to settle in and make himself comfortable the smallest things reminded him that he was out of his element. After all that he went through the last several months—both in Port Sheridan and in Connersville—he didn't expect a grandiose lifestyle to intimidate him and it did, immensely.

The mansion sat on a large chunk of unused private property that never went unmaintained. He couldn't remember seeing anyone actually tend to the property. Of course, he wouldn't be surprised if it slipped past his radar.

His own room, bathroom and closet included, were larger than the last apartment he and his father shared. The king size bed felt like a dream compared to the flimsy twin size beds and couches he crashed on. He had a small entertainment system in his room, his own game consoles and a small sitting area. He had chairs in his room for reasons he couldn't understand. The walk-in closet rivaled the size of his old bedroom. And that bathroom. Heated floors and water pressure strong enough to make a person sore. Gage's showers lasted nearly an hour, as he tried to run out the hot water, but it never stopped.

They had more guest rooms sitting in wait than they did actual rooms in use. They ate breakfast in the morning room and not the dining room. That room was only meant for dinner. The butler's pantry didn't even have a butler. So why the hell was it called that? There was an area that looked like a veranda but had some fancy name that didn't make sense to Gage. Not to mention a pool, a pool house and an open air sunroom, all of which never used during his time there so far.

On top of the excess that surrounded him, the one thing that appalled him most was the allowance.

Despite his protest, Max and Nadia insisted. It came on a card and was the largest amount of money Gage ever dealt with. But as much as he hated having Max and Nadia give him money, he secretly welcomed it. It meant he didn't have to ask them directly to buy him clothes or anything else he needed, because he still felt like shit for needing it in the first place. To Gage it felt like another one of those things that Max just understood, solving another awkward problem without bringing attention to the actual issue.

Regardless, it felt extreme, wrong and strange to go from having so little to having so much in a short amount of time. He remembered their subpar living condition from as young as three. Between his father's vices and the shit jobs they both held from time to time, they barely scraped by. Gage remembered burning raw hunger on Monday mornings after going all weekend without food. He remembered the cold draft on wet winter days, without heat or electricity, trying to find warmth in a holey blanket. He remembered the things he did just to ensure his day-to-day survival. The lows he stooped to and the highs that fogged his mind and perception. It stayed fresh in his mind even though he wished it didn't.

Even after two month of contemplation he couldn't resolve what it all meant or how he felt about any of it. He still hadn't felt the slightest twinge of loss for his father and everyday he tried not to call his father's death a miracle. Factoring in his own past into that complex equation, something he didn't consider at the beginning of the transition, and he knew, flat out, that he didn't deserve any of it. He didn't deserve the break or the opportunity. Possibly because he felt he lied to Max and Nadia about who he was and what he did, even though it was only a lie of omission. He felt like he was acting but at the same time finding an entirely new part of himself that he had beaten down to the benefit of what needed to be done in the past. Acting like a piece of shit to the two people who just took him in was wrong and it felt wrong.

Of course, dropping the act and being more real with the two of them wouldn't happen right away. Max and Nadia were only able to stay in town for as long as it took to settle Gage in and take care of his father's affairs, before they jetted off to their next business destination.