Ever since mum died dad had changed I wernt sure why he had changed .. i knew he would be upset that mum died I was so upset when mum died my whole world turned upside down :( But it had been a year so I was coming to turms with mums death, at first when people found out school they came up to me saying Jemma are you okay?? I would always put a brave face on & say yes Its just it feels strange that mums gone but that wassnt true it was me putting a brave face on I guess you could say 'fake smile' Even the 'popular' girls at school came up to me they would say aww hunny you okay as if they cared .. they dident they just pretended to so people think they were kind & considerate people but they wernt and I knew this but I was to upset to say anything so I just replied Im just shocked .. Anways when i got home from school dad wasnt anywhere to be seen so I figuered he must of been upstairs so I went upstairs & knocked on his bedroom door & said Dad can I come in he dident answer so I let myself in .. there is he on the bed asleep with 6 beer cans I start to shake him .. Dad? Dad?? WAKE UP! yyyyyes darling whats up ? why all the screaming .. I walked out of his bedroom closed the door behind me and ran down stairs to the kitchen got myself a glass of water and walked into the front room thinking about what i had just seen .. is this my dad ?? Im imaganing right?? then dad came down & said Jemma are you alright ? I replied dad today is mums annaversiary isnt it ? is that why your are drinking ?? my dad cleared his throat Jemma im just feeling a bit low today so I thought Id have a can or too just to get me through the pain .. I was silent and said please dad dont drink any more cans of beer please I want you to sobber up so we can go see mums grave please dad? he said yes he slowly smiled another 'fake smile' & I glanced at him and smiled back as if I was happy but I wasnt I was angry & annoyed at the same time but it was my mums day & I did it for her<3...................................................................................................................................................................... An hour or so later Dad was sobber we visited the grave he burst into tears I hugged him tight we droped 2 white roses onto the grave i kissed to fingers , patted them on the grave & said I love you mum , we got in the car and drove home dad and I had a look through some pictures of us as a family then my bestfriends mum had knocked on the door I answered & said Hi miss Williams she replied its Michelle love okay and gave me a big smile , I smiled at her this was my first real smile of the day she came in and brought us a casaroll made my her own hands dad & I thanked her for it we ate it for dinner Michelle stayed whilst we ate dinner and cheered us up Dad said he needed the loo so he went upstairs & me & Michelle stayed talking for 30 minutes I inturupted Michelle & said im sorry to be rude whilst your talking but dad has been up there a long time so I went up to check the bathroom he was not there but in his bedroom drinking red wine he saw me look throught the door & said jemma wait I ignored and ran down stairs to Michelle
