Flame Touched - A Dragon Tribe Origin

Chapter Forty-Six - Matteo

The castle was quiet when Matt returned home. Not that he was surprised, since it was the middle of the night. He made sure to keep quiet, not wanting to disturb anyone from their sleep. The last thing he needed was to be bombarded by questions from his father. Those could wait until the morning, or even the afternoon if he could have things his way.

All he wanted to do was lay down beside Rei and go to sleep. He was exhausted from using so much of his magic, and none of his comrades would let him rest on the ride home. They kept trying to talk about what happened in the park, needing to. No doubt they were all trying to cope with taking a man's life in such a brutal fashion. In the moment, it seemed easy enough; after the fact was a whole other story. He'd be happy to never think about it again. This kill felt so different from all of the others he'd ever performed.

He crept into his bedroom and carefully took off his shoes. The goal was for him to make it into bed without Rei waking up. One he failed at achieving, miserably.

"I was wondering when you'd be back," she said and stretched widely before sitting up in bed. The way her hair fell around her face, and the sleepy half-awake look in her eyes was adorable. Immediately, he relaxed, glad to return to normalcy. If he pretended well enough, the whole thing could be just a dream.

"I'm glad you didn't wait up for me," he replied and stripped off his shirt, wanting to be rid of the sweaty clothes. It didn't quite remove the feeling of shame threatening to overtake him, unfortunately.

Rei gave him a weak smile. "I know, I need as much rest as possible for the baby."

"You figured it out." He returned the smile. It was so nice to do instead of frowning all of the time.

She playfully shoved his arm. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was going to. Tomorrow morning. I knew if I said it before I left, you'd try to make me stay." He gazed into her eyes, praying she understood. "Being away from you isn't easy. Add that news hanging over my head, and it's even more unbearable. I couldn't do that to you."

Looking away, she pulled the sheets up tighter around her body. "There are too many secrets between us."

"Something I'm working on."

"Stop lying to me," she whispered.

"Rei..." He stroked her cheek. Matt reached out to brush her hair away so he could kiss her lips. They'd grown so much together, and there was still a long way for them to go. I have to do better, to make this better. If we're not stronger, these next few months could ruin everything. Work would become more demanding on him as they planned their strategy against the Oceina.

She let out a soft breath. "Matt?"

"Yes?" He returned his gaze to hers.

"Are you okay?"

For a moment, all he could do was chew on his lower lip. He didn't know how to answer that question. He'd just murdered the Great Lord of the water dragons less than twenty-four hours ago. Not that he regretted it, hardly, but it was a lot to absorb all the same.

"Matt?" she asked again, poking his side as he climbed into the bed.

"I'm fine," he said at last. "I have a lot on my mind."

"What happened? Can you tell me about it now?"

"I can, but I don't know if you want to hear it."

"Why wouldn't I?"

He sighed deeply. "Promise me you won't think less of me, then."

She nodded, but said nothing. After taking a deep breath, he told her everything that happened in the park, and how he had killed Orion. When he finished, his hands were shaking and they clung to the bed sheets so tightly his knuckles were white. Every moment of the night came back to life in vivid detail. The smell of fear, the feeling of power, and how much he wanted to do it all, especially stuck out in his mind. The rush of power completely intoxicated him.

"I'm not sure what to say," was her response. He put a hand on her waist. When she didn't flinch, he relaxed. As much as she'd claim nothing would change, there was always the off chance everything might.

He moved in closer. "You don't need to say anything."

"H-have you k-killed people before?"

How did he answer that without looking like a monster? "This wasn't the first time. Sometimes, it's necessary."

"A-as long as it was necessary." She shivered slightly. Enough that he noticed, though he wasn't sure why. The smell of fear wasn't coming off of her. Getting a read on her feelings was difficult. He almost tried to pry into her thoughts, but decided against it. She had to process the information in her own way without him getting defensive over what she might be thinking.

Instead, he focused on the facts. "As much as I wish I didn't have to do it, it was necessary. They're a threat to everything we are." He wasn't sure how he could explain it so she understood. There was a lot he still couldn't wrap his mind around himself. Things that only his father and the prophet understood.

"It's too bad you had to be the one to do it. I couldn't imagine what it feels like to take a life, to be the reason someone completely stops existing. I mean, he'll never come back. I know they're the enemy, but I'm sure his family will miss him. I'm sure there were people who loved him." She whimpered. "I don't understand war."

He ran his fingers through her hair. The adrenaline rush once more started to wear off, and he was reminded of how exhausted he was once again. "You don't need to. All you need to know is that I will protect you and do everything I can so both you and our son stay safe."

"I won't worry if you tell me not to." Rei faced him. "Happy thoughts. We'll have to start thinking of baby names."

"Rei, I..."

"Hmm?" She raised an eyebrow.

Matt raked his lip between his teeth. "You're okay with the story I told you? Do you understand what's happening?"

"Nothing you told me changes anything between us," she said, quietly. "Does it scare me? Yes. The idea there are bad people out there looking to hurt us to the point of kill or be killed, scares me. I'm not going to think less of you. I promised you that. The real question is: do you want to talk about it more? Do you need to for your own peace of mind? If so, then I'm happy to listen."

For a long moment, there was silence. Did he need to talk more? He'd been doing fine until she said those words: I'm sure his family will miss him. This was the first time he'd killed a person, and actually taken the time to understand that he forever stole a loved one away from another. And I've put a target on my back for someone to steal me from Rei. It was no longer only about the glory of the empire. And that scared him the most.