Loosing Interest

Sorry I fell for You

The day I regret the most the day I choose to kill my own happiness the day I decided to put my feelings in words and told the person I never should have .

It was our second semester our classes has begun I knew I sort of developing feelings for him when he confessed that he feels for me too at first I thought I should end things because I didn't want any relationships neither I want any  to hurt him by breaking his heart .

I knew my feelings weren't that strong and I would move on like wind blows .

But due to some reason I couldn't call me selfish or a person who craves affection like a moth to a flame .

Love and affection was something like that for me maybe a moth doesn't know that fire can burn him but I knew very well what love can do to me still I just can't help but gave myself to flames and watch me turn myself into ashes .

But anyways I wasn't  in love with him I just craved affection and that what I wanted from him and he was giving it to me And I was happy like a child whose hands and pockets are full of candies and you know that he is spoiled just like that I was being spoiled by him .

He used to take care of me in best ways possible pamper like to be and I just stayed with him just like that I didn't burst my bubble of happiness but everyone knows the more the big the bubble is the more likely it will bust open soon .

We were in each other's arms in his room his roomate were out doing their own business and I was humming my favourite song Idfc by
Blackbear one of my favorite songs of all time .

Well He used to always tell me pretty lies about how he is falling for me how his feelings are growing day by day how he love everything about me .

I would gladly listen to it all day just like my favorite melody yes the pretty lies were my candies And I was being spoiled with that .

You know what is the one thing I hate about myself is that I think everything that comes out people mouth when they are serious is true I always forget the fact that people lie .

Yes they lie to you without even flinching straight to your face without  you even noticing not giving you a single reason to doubt them .

Yes that's how people are and that's how I am I know people lie but I always forgot about the fact that people can lie to me too .

I thought I was immune to those pretty lies I thought I was immune to those melody I didn't knew that one day I will be dying to listen to that melody again like crazy just like when there is a beat that you like is in your head you are searching the name of the songs in you mind but you just couldn't get there.

Just like that a day come when I wanted to hear him saying sweet nothings in my ear telling me how special I am to him but I just couldn't get there because now I could barely see him after class .

Now I would just die to see  one message from him .

A missed call from him would be like  a surprise gift from only to found that he would be busy and wouldn't be able to meet today .

That's how a boy who would not left my room the whole day who was basically head over heels for me started ghosting me as time goes by first he would just ghost me for one or two days and next day he would apologize gave his so called valid reasons and spend the whole day to meke it up for it but slowly the ghosting of one or two was converted to weeks he would barelg have time for me .

At first I used to complain and get angry on him but then slowly I was tired I was tired with his lack of reciprotion .

I was tired of me being the only one who want to spend the time with him .

Me being the only one who was waiting for even one message or call from him whereas he was busy with his new friend and apparently he was back with his girlfriend too the one he that he used to call his timepass .

Oh wait I think Everything is going pretty fast forward to catch up right so let me start fresh with the start welcome to my twisted relationship sorry situationship guys ..

Its a roller coster ride hope you will enjoy ..