The People In His Head (ShinKami)

part 3

That motherfucker. I was perfectly happy crushing on a straight boy. He had to go and be gay and mess it all up. Damn it. Fuckoroni. My phone starts buzzing breaking up this absolutely wonderful  moment, it's an alarm: therapy in 30 minutes you fucked up bitch. Kami blatantly stares at my annoying alarm that so rudely announced that I'm mentally ill before I even had the chance to bring up the topic and gauge the waters.
"Oh where do you go? If we go to the same place maybe we can start scheduling our appointments at the same time and go together." That was not what I was expecting.
"I go to Crazy In The Coconut Counseling" I don't know why I said that.
"Man too bad I go to Messed Up In The Membrane Counseling" he flatly states.
"Well I got to run if I'm going to make it."
"Ok bye!" Kami says in his sunshine voice.

~a time skip brought to you by my laziness~ (Shinso is at therapy now)

Walking into the beige room with fluorescent lights always feels the same: awkward. I love my therapist don't get me wrong, but it still feels weird.
"How are you today Shinso?" asks my lovely therapist, Aether. AN: do any of y'all who go to therapy call your therapist by their first name or is it just me?
"I'm fine." I always start out rude and abrasive, it's a reflex I don't even mean to.
"Well actually I'm not." And there we go. I crack soon after.
"And why not?" Ah lovely predictable Aether.
"Well it's been a rough few days. First I transferred to 1A, I've made a friend and was kinda crushing on him but then just now right before I came here he came out as gay. And while that seems great at first what if it turns out like Asher? And now he knows I go to therapy but he was really chill about because he goes to therapy too. But he doesn't know about the OSDD so any relationship is pretty much doomed from the start." I inhale deeply because it seems I forgot to breathe way saying that.
"Well that is intense. So let's break it down. First: how does everybody feel about the class change?" Have I mentioned how much I love Aether, cause I would drown without his calm demeanor.
"Well I enjoy it, I love the hero work. Chester doesn't care l, he just sleeps all day, like a cat does. Rosiline is to little to care she just wants stuffed animals. Alex misses the paper work of the other course, but likes the challenge of this one. Ash just wants to flirt with every boy he sees, I mean they're all ripped. Fletch just wants to enjoy life for once. Nicki enjoys it because of how much they love the physical labor. Eli doesn't really care, he's too busy making sure we take care of the body. And Fucko just likes to jump scare people on the headspace. and Luke just wants to read books." I say all of this doing a mental headcount trying not to forget anybody.
"Ok, now let's talk about this friend. Why do you think it will turn out like Asher?"
Oh fuck you Aether.
"Well Asher was great, at first. He seemed to love me, and was great with affection but when I would switch alters he would just not respect boundaries. Like one time I was Rosiline and he still wanted to have sex, and I get that I had the body of a 13 year old boy, which is gross in its own way cause he was 16, but I had the mind of a 5 year old girl. And one time when I was Fletch, before he got better, and was cutting he helped me which was terrible. So like what if Kami, this guy's name is Kami by the way, turns out like Asher cause Asher seemed great and Kami seems amazing like so good. And I mean I only have Asher to compare relationships too."

"So you're worried that you can only date people who are abusive?"

"Actually, yeah. I'm worried I can only date people who treat me terribly and are always angry with me, because growing up that's what kind of love I was shown" (Author here, if you can't tell im processing throufh Shinso. I kid you not this is Asher is based on one of my exes and Shinso's alters are  based on mine. Shinso is me in this fic)

"That is a reasonable concern and based on your behaviors I can see why you're worried about this, but sadly we are out of time."

And that's my therapy session. All about Kami, God what would he think if he knew?

Little did Shinso know Kaminari's therapy would go down a similar path.