KALANK

5 | I FUCKING LOVE HER

सीने से तेरे सर को लगा के

सुनती मैं रहूँ नाम अपना

ओ लिखदी तेरे नाल ज़िन्दडी जानिये

बस रहना तेरे नाल वे जुरिये

~PAL PAL DIL KE PAAS(ARJIT & PARAMPARA)

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I've never hated a single moment I had spent with Meera. Never. Even when it was not with Meera, when it was just my moment -watching her from afar, making sure she has reached safe and sound at her place, hiding behind the shadows just have glance of her candid moments and many more like this. But I have that moment now. The moment I'll hate the most for forever. I broke into million pieces when she got scared of me when I tried to touch her. She knelt and pleaded me not to touch her. And that was it. The urge to beat the shit out of that criminal hit me hard. So I started to beat him. "You motherfucker," punch, "how the hell did you dare to touch my Meera!!" Kick. "I will make sure you rot in death. I'll show how it is to feel helpless when someone is forcing us just because they are stronger than us." I punched him in gut. Hard. I was about to kill him when the picture of scared Meera came to my mind. Right now this fucker is not important.

I punched and kicked him last time before going to Meera. As soon as realized I am about touch her and go to her she hugged her knees more tightly. Fuck!! I'll have to calm down before getting her out of here. I slowed my pace and very slowly knelt in front of her. First she would have to know who I am and make herself trust me enough to see her injuries. I sigh heavily before speaking. "Meera no need to be scared, see it's me Reyansh." I say. My voice barely above whisper and the moment she lifts her eyes to me I can see how scared she is. I am so close to her, I so want to pull her in my arms and never want let her go but the fear in her eyes stops me from doing so. I'll have get myself together. "See, I'm going to touch you to see the injuries, if you are uncomfortable, you tell me to stop. Okay?" I wait for her impatiently yet patiently to reply. She nods, god ever so slowly. Like she doubts herself about trusting me. "Okay, look at me while I'm touching you." I say as I brought my hands towards her wrist. She does as I say. "Look I'm touching your writs to make you release your knees." I say, preventing her from zoning out. I see her hairs coming on way in her vision. "Now I'm brushing your hair strands off your face." She drifts her eyes from me to my hand and I stop abruptly. "Look at me Meera, not my hands. Are you uncomfortable?" I ask as I look at her. She just shook her head and I brush of the remaining flits from her face. My eyes drifts from hers to her scar where blood is dried for a second. That motherfucker slapped her.

"Good. Now I'm touching the corner of your mouth where the blood is dried." I say to take a close look at her scar. But my eyes moves to her throat. Did he made her choke? I will kill the bastard. "I'm touching your throat now." I say maintaining the eye contact. Hell it is so painful to see her like this. I will have to get her out of here first. Only that way she can relax a bit "Okay, now I'm going to help you stand up and then lift you in my arms. If your are not comfortable, you tell me stop. Are we clear?" I asked waiting for her reply. She nodded and I helped her stand up and after checking her from toe to head, I lifted her in my arms carefully. My gaze lingered on her for a whole minute. Why? I don't know. But I braced myself and started to walk. No one's here as it's nighttime or you can say past the midnight. It was 1:00 am when I got text from her. It's been more than a while....I was so lost my thoughts I didn't realize until now that she's started crying. But why? "Meera don't cry. It's okay. You're here, safe with me. We can't change what happened right? I'm sorry for not keeping an eye on you." Yes it's all my fault. I'm always sure about her whereabouts, even in hospital. If she's out of town? I still know how she's spending every hour. But I failed today. I thought I should give her some time after that fucker's surgery. I didn't knew that 2 days would cost my Meera a long time of mental health.

At this point I've come to realize one thing. Meera is not an obsession or a mere attraction to me anymore. She's my everything. I can't sleep in peace because I know she don't sleep peacefully everyday. I've seen footage or sometimes through the window how she can't sleep at night. Always. Everyday. My mansion in nearby her apartment or you can say exactly behind her apartment. I can see her room and her balcony from my gallery or garden. There's not been a single day where she has slept comfortably all night. I just eat once in day. Why? If I'll go out to take lunch then I can't make sure if she has had hers or not. I don't like sugar in my black coffee. But since the day I came to know about how she wants her coffee black but little sweet, I drink the same. My attraction is not just liking or little crush anymore. It has grown from crushing on her, liking her, obsessing over her to Love her. Yes. I fucking Love Meera. I can go to any limit just to see her safe and sound. At first I thought she just rules my wildest dreams but no Meera has fucking consumed me. Even at this point I can see how much I want to ruin her badly for any other men. Hell I don't ever want her to be anyone else's. I'll make her mine not because I love her. I'll make her mine because she deserves better. If I'm not the best for her than I'll become better for her. I will become anything to deserve her, to give her the goddamn world. Saying 'I will kill for her' would be an understatement because I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO'LL EVEN TRY TO TOUCH HER HAIR. If she tells me she's uncomfortable around me, about me touching her and me breathing same air as her, I kill myself for making her uncomfortable in any way.

"Reyansh." Her voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "Yes?" I ask "It's been five minutes I've stopped crying you can open the door to your cabin now." She says, her voice bare a whisper. I open the door and shut it behind us, locking it. I went to my chair made her sit myself on my lap. She doesn't say anything. She just looks at me then hugs me tightly and starts crying again. I let her cry now. If it will make her better then she can cry her heart out. I just pat her back and hair in circular motion. "I'm so tired of feeling like this now, Reyansh." She says in between her sobs. "I fucking hate it when someone touches me without my consent. Rather be it Ashrut, dad, Naina, Ruhaan, Aryan, Dr.Vivaan anyone." She says after calming down and breaking the hug. She didn't mentioned me. I've noticed this few times. How her demeanor changes when someone suddenly touches her. Surgeries are Always an exception. But I realized one thing, I've touched her few times without her consent to confirm this but she never saw any change. I like she's immune to my touch.

"But you're never uncomfortable around me." I say as I push back a hair strand behind her hair.

~~~~~X~~~~~X~~~~~X~~~~~X~~~~~

Reyansh Loves Meera? The Meera who thinks she's not enough for anyone, she don't deserve to Live. He Loves that Meera?

Tuck your belts tight because the roller coaster of their ride of emotion, love, patience, ER arguments and a lot more is about to start!!

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