S.O.S.

Sunrise or Sunset

Oh, I see that beautiful sunset again.

Everything goes away: or is it a game,

A book, or study, or a kettle on the stove.

All goes out of my mind, remains only love.

Love for the memories that life has given me.

The love of life that continually helped me to be.

My actually love of emotions, feelings, experiences.

Which, for all the time, have taught me the means of defenses.

But this, unfortunately, was not so enough.

Everything I faced was too abruptly and tough.

Because of this, I made a lot of terrible mistakes.

And in such situations, I didn't want to live with fakes.

My heart says: "You're such a moron sometimes!"

I understand what I've done, I want to close my eyes.

The world ceases to exist, I feel every one of my lifes.

And I feel they're dying, painting my mind in black dyes.

[........]

This is what my memories look like.

Sometimes they consume me, and only my bike

Can help me get to a quiet place in the favorite park,

Can help me to share my thoughts in silence with the dark.

[......]

I look at my watch. Midnight. The moon appeared.

I have nothing to do. And my brain is already cleared.

I watch the stars shine brightly in the black firmament.

"If it were possible, I would be here always, ever, permanent.."

The clock has switched. A new day has come.

Saying goodbye to the forest again, I'm going home.

I'm going the same way I always have, thinking about the past.

Again, I'm analyzing what could have been done better for last.

Here, I'm home. Time seems to slow down again.

The days kinda be looped like links in an iron chain.

For me everything loses value, I don't get childish pleasure

Even in simple days or things that used to be for me a treasure.

One thought comforts me... It's going to be dawn again soon.

In the meantime, I can go out on the balcony and watch the moon,

Remembering my favorite past days, months, years, decades...

And drowning in wonderful memories, which diving me in sense of weightlessness..

No matter if I go outside at 3 or 7 a.m.

I will always remain the way I really am.

And I wait patiently for the sunset or sunrise..

So that I can enjoy the sun, so that I feel so nice...

2022, spring