Home To You || KTH

Prologue

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Jieun

It's a late June afternoon, and I'm on my way home from my university, which is not that far from home, just an hour away.

As I'm sitting in the metro's window seat, earbuds in, listening to music: I look out the window, the rapid scenery rushing in front of my eyes, the beautiful trees, the buildings, the people - all catching my attention for a brief moment. I sigh and open my diary and read what was the last thing I wrote:

Dear diary.

My high school years are finally over. The nightmare ends once and for all. Not wanting to see their faces again, I even skipped the farewell ceremony. Not even for the last time did i wish to bid everyone goodbye. A part of me misses the time I spent there, but I'm also relieved that it is over. Although I wish I could go back and relive everything, it was also overwhelming, miserable, and depressing to think back on the good times before things got out of hand.

I was happy in the company of my friends. Now, aside from Shayla, none of them can be considered as one. She's been with me through thick and thin and i can't imagine or worse, I don't even want to know if she's done anything similar to them. I can't lose her. Out of everyone, I can never be okay with losing her. She's my best friend. And i hope it stays that way unlike...anyways.

The university seems nice, it's beautiful, the campus is huge, the students are drop dead gorgeous and the social anxiety in me started quaking the minute I stepped into the campus, inferiority complex and all that drama thanks to my trauma.

Yet with an optimistic mindset, I'm sure I can survive this. I have to survive this.

The halt from the metro makes me realise that my destination is here and I'm supposed to get off now. I hurriedly without looking, place the diary in my bag and start rushing outside since I have to get a few things before reaching home and mom will scream the whole house down if she gets to know that I forgot and had to go again to get it.

I walk to the nearby grocery store which is 5 minutes away while admiring the beautiful unravelling of colours the sky has done today. It's been raining since a couple of days ago and I love this time of the year the most. The dark clouds hovering over hiding the sun, the cool breeze, the wet lone streets and the rain of course. I've always had this fantasy of being kissed in the rain, I sigh as i think about it. The chances of it happening seem close to zero but nevermind I'll live my fantasies and dreams through books. My silly little books.

Now that I'm attending the new university I hope I make new friends but to be honest, it doesn't matter now even if I don't. All I have to do is survive the following 3 years, get a job and earn for myself. I'm okay with having just one friend, I'm okay with being alone. The past couple of years have taught me that well thanks to my highschool "friends".

Since tomorrow is my first day at the university, the classes will begin then, I'm quite nervous. I tend to do that a lot, getting anxious and thinking of the worst possible outcomes of every situation - it actually keeps me going and it really helps when you don't expect anything but the worst in everything; at least that way you don't get disappointed. So regarding the university my worst possible scenario if i think about it would be - me not making any friends and spend the entire three years by myself being the invisible and quiet kid in class and I'm not even excited about this new start of my life. I know, it sounds depressing but hey, at least I won't get disappointed. Right?

As I'm so caught up in my thoughts, I almost skip the grocery store, gosh. I step back inside the store and take out my phone to check the list of things my mom has sent me. I stay with my parents and two cats. Both of them are couples. Seriously everyone in my life has someone, even my cats have each other.