Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshots

McDonald's

Summary: Dazai takes Kyouka and Atsushi to McDonald's because Kunikida decided to ban junk food from their household

He checked the clock. 2:34 am. Perfect.

He checked the figure in bed next to him. The love of his life was fast asleep and oblivious. Wonderful.

He got out of bed and walked to the bedroom. Atsushi and Kyouka were in bed and, for once, not up late on their phones. Amazing.

Dazai shook the two teenagers awake, and watched as they turned to look at him, puffy-eyed and tired

"Kids get up"

"Why are you in our dorm-"

"Not important" Dazai interrupted Kyouka, who was new to the Agency and because of that, Dazai's antics. "Listen- Kunikida is asleep. Do you know what that means?" Atsushi's face lit up with excitement, while Kyouka looked on with concern. Dazai waited in the car and eventually saw the two in puffy jackets getting into the backseat. The leather seats were cold to the touch, and the car was dimly lit by the golden streetlights. The car was mostly silent, the two passengers nodding off in the backseat and Dazai with his eyes steady on the road until they pulled into a parking lot that overlooked bright yellow arches, "wake up, we're here"

The three walked into the establishment. The only other people there were a very sad man and a very tired employee. Dazai walked up to the counter with the two trailing behind him. "Hi," he began "can I get three happy meals with-" he turned to the siblings so they could order. Kyouka stared in awe at the place-soap air smells and flickering menu screen as Atsushi nervously stood behind her. It seemed that neither would be able to order for themselves tonight.

Dazai sighed and turned back to the scared teenager behind the counter "three happy meals, all with a burger and French fries" he knew that Kyouka didn't really eat French fries, but he refused to get apple slices, because Kunikida would have done that, and this whole operation was an act of protest against him. Plus, that meant he got extra fries.

Once the order was typed in and the five minutes passed of the three getting their drinks from the machine (rootbeer, a cup full of ice, and an abomination of every single drink in the machine. You can guess who got what), they eventually got their happy meals and went into the play place.

Dazai saw the duo as they stepped into the play place and chuckled as their faces lit up with pure awe. They had never seen a play place before, let alone go into one, and Dazai knew this. Was this heaven? In their minds, maybe it was. The two ran off with their food to go find somewhere to sit in the tunnels before Dazai could warn them about the possible diseases they could get from eating inside of the playground, so he sat at a table in the corner that smelled the least like urine and enjoyed his food in silence.

About a half-hour later, Dazai began to get a little concerned. The siblings were known to gobble down all their meals like it was their last, and they would have returned by now to throw out their trash. Where did they go? He decided to do the responsible thing and go to check on them. "Kyouka? Atsushi?" He called out into the tunnel. No response, only...

The faintest sounds of crying could be heard from up the tunnels. Dazai's concern grew, not just because the kids were in danger, but also because this meant he had to go into the play place and potentially get trapped. He sighed and plugged his nose, and climbed up the triangle steps in the tube.

The entire experience was unpleasant. Dazai was too big to fit comfortably into the structure, and the plastic creaked threateningly under his weight as he army crawled through. The few breaths he had to take, he inhaled lukewarm and unclean air that wreaked of hot plastic and stale burgers. He sighed but followed the scared crying noises until he found the two, stuck at the suspended bridges.

"What's the matter?" He asked "think it's gonna fall on you?" Dazai chuckled as the two nodded. He remembered having that fear growing up. "Well," he offered "why not go a different way?" He had them follow him back the way he came from.

"See? Nothing to be scared about, just-"

he said as he fell backwards into the triangle steps, getting stuck between them.

Well, what a predicament. The three spent a good twenty minutes trying to get Dazai unstuck, and they tried everything short of using their combined gifts to just tear him out of the steps, which Dazai was quick to shoot down when it was actually mentioned.

Eventually, Dazai sighed in defeat and picked up his phone.

"Hey... honeybunch, so, you might not believe me, but I have a little favour to ask you"