LYHM | YG [✔]

Prologue: Beomgyu

3 months ago

I shouldn't be here.

I made a promise to the only friend I've ever had, a promise that's getting harder and harder to keep. I've thought about breaking it hundreds of times—at least once a day since the day she left me—but I've never actually had the balls to go through with it.

Tonight, though...it feels different. I feel different. I'm in too deep this time and I just want it to stop. No more pain. No more guilt. No more misery.

With any luck, it'll just feel like...nothing. Blackness. The end.

Clutching the blindfold I've kept on me for almost two years, I'm straddling my motorbike on the edge of the bend in the road my brother died on, facing the steep cliff overlooking the forest below.

Ride a motorcycle.

Jump off a cliff.

"That's two birds with one stone right here, babe." I laugh through the pain in my chest. Then, I lean over to get a better look. "I'm gonna do it."

But I'm not finished yet.

And this probably isn't what she meant when she wrote that list.

She didn't want to die. She promised, just like I did.

Lightning strikes above me, and I wrap my arms around myself. There's a storm coming. The rain hasn't started yet, but it's so windy and cold, that I can barely feel my hands as I reach into my hoodie pocket. The bottle of whiskey I stole from my dad's office tonight is long gone, so I swallow a couple of pills instead, then light the joint I rolled earlier and take a hit.

My filthy, unwashed hair blows into my eyes, blocking my vision, but it doesn't matter. I don't need to see anything. I just need to drive. Just a few more meters.

Come on, you pussy.

Come on, come on, come on...

My phone buzzes between the handlebars, and I almost ignore it this time.

Almost.

I squint at the text message on the screen, the paralyzing fear coiling around my lungs and squeezing as I read the words. And then I look at the pictures...

I think I'm gonna puke.

I don't stop to think before I've got the phone pressed to my ear. He takes forever to answer, but when he does, he sounds wide awake and highly amused, the sounds of the party he's at echoing in the background. "What do you want?" he teases.

"I need your help."

"Again?" I think he laughs, but I can barely hear him over the ringing in my ears. "You can't be serious."

"Please," I rasp, flinching at the next flash of lightning in the sky. "He—It's Jun."

He pauses, then asks, "Where are you right now?"

I shake my heavy head, feeling dizzy as I look around at my surroundings. "I..."

"Never mind. Fuckin' drama queen. I'll be there soon."

After he hangs up, I pocket the phone and wait, but I don't hold my breath. Soon could mean five minutes or five hours. He won't rush because he doesn't really give a shit about me. I don't blame him. I don't give a shit about me either.

The rain starts, pours, then pours some more. I'm soaked from head to toe within seconds. I don't know how much more time passes while I smoke my joint, shielding it inside my hoodie to try to keep it dry. Once it's gone, I toss the roach and tip my head back, taking one last look at the dark sky before I pull the blindfold into place.

Another text comes through, and I squeeze my eyes shut behind the fabric. Lifting it up an inch, I quickly delete all the messages he's sent me and block his number. My phone will probably break when it hits the bottom, but I can't risk anyone finding it down there and seeing what's on it.

I can't risk Jun finding out what I've done.

Shoving the blindfold back over my eyes, I hold on to the handlebars and creep a little closer toward the edge. "Sorry, Mia," I whisper.

But then I hesitate, swallowing as I flex my fingers.

Just twist it, Beomgyu.

Just fucking do it already.

Just fucking—