North star

Chapter 1

Indifference  is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it. It lets neglect and decay and monstrous injustice go unchecked. It doesn't act, it allows. And that's what gives it so much power

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I sat with my back against the last oak tree at High School, a book on my knees. This was my favorite spot to read on campus.

And guess what? First period hadn’t even started yet.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the bell suddenly rang. Talk about perfect timing!

The book slipped off my lap, but I swiftly picked it up before it kissed the grass. I had grabbed it from the school library I packed my stuff into my school bag and trudged down the hill, across the field, and into the halls with the blue lockers, now buzzing with students rushing to make it to first period on time.

It was kinda fun to watch. The freshmen sprinted like they were in a race for their lives, while the seniors lounged against lockers as if time had no power over them.

I pushed through the crowd, making my way to English class. I hated being late, not because I was a perfect student or anything, but because I couldn’t stand the judgmental stares that followed tardiness

I wasn't late. But, I found my Chemistry teacher talking to a teacher from another section. She still hadn't stepped foot in the class. So, I did my best to become invisible, blending into the air. I slipped past the two old gossipers. Then, I entered the classroom. Only to find a quarter of the students were there.

I sat at the middle desk in the corner. I gazed out the window at the red school walls. They reminded me of the red fort I visited when I was 8 years old

 The playground was bustling with students and swirling sands. It was a testament to the school's liveliness. The clouds in the sky had various shapes. The leaves of the trees danced gracefully in the wind.

It is believed that around 8 months old, we start understanding object permanence - the concept that things continue to exist even when we can't see them. For example, a toy in another room still exists even if we can't see it. Once we grasp this idea, we know the toy is there, just out of sight.

Sometimes, I feel like I didn't fully develop this concept. I tend to focus on people only when they are present or directly involved in my life, like close friends or family who I interact with regularly. If someone is not constantly in touch, they slip my mind as I get caught up in my own thoughts and activities.

Even with close friends and family, if they don't reach out, I might not think about them often. But when they do, it feels like we just spoke yesterday, no matter how much time has passed. For those I'm not close to, they simply fade from my thoughts and don't take up space in my mind.

"Disha," my brother said as I sat in front of him. His words hit me like a punch. They hit a place I never knew existed. "You don't love mom and dad, but you feel indebted to them. gratitude for raising you.""

His words cut deep. They revealed truths I had never admitted. Maybe, I had never cared to admit. But now, I know

"You didn't miss me, right?" My friend's voice quivered with hurt as she spoke. Her words were full of accusation and resignation. "I knew it. It's always been like this." The weight of past disappointments hung heavy in her tone. For you, people aren't friends. They are mere toys to be observed briefly and then discarded." Her voice trailed off into a whimper, baring the pain she had long held within.

"I wouldn't feel so guilty if she had screamed at me," I thought. I was grappling with my own emotions.

But she didn't. There was no eruption of emotion, just a silent departure. "She just... left." I realized it like a relentless tide. It stirred a mix of regret and understanding. "And that's why I get it," I murmured to myself. A weight settled in my heart as I thought about the fragility of human connections.