randoM th0ughts :} [pls don't read-]

caught in 4k

TW/CW: THEMES OF SU!C!D3

PLEASE DONT READ UNLESS YOUR OKAY WITH THE THEME

well looks like people are catching on, heh

welcome back

to this 30-PEOPLED VIEWED THINGAMAJIG

I don't know why people are so interested in my problems

but if its entertainment don't let me get in your way, hah.

so basically

some people are beginning to become suspicious

I'm in physical pain

basilar episode

ahahahahhabeybonyqgobn

I hate migraines

..soo.. I'm going to try and stop to vent

because i'm pretty sure that's bad

and also pretty sure nobody cares

but happy spring!

a little happiness :D

....yeah i'm trying to look better

wave

smile

grin

laugh

but its hard.

I really try

but I feel like it hurts either way.

I'm going to work harder to be a good friend though

I don't want this to happen again

I don't want to leave people.

..I feel horrible.

nothing's the same.

it won't be the same again.

everything's changing and I hate it

i've always hated it

I feel like i'm falling in this dark ocean

and i'm sinking

..I can't get out of it.

I hate myself

I hate the way I am

the way I act

the way I speak

the way I look

..everything

maybe i'm a mistake.

I don't know why after i've done so many things..

people still come.

I don't know what to think of that.

i don't deserve anything, anyone, or anyplace.

but yet things still come.

..this reminds me..

of this random video I saw on classic utube.

this.. personified Earth.. hated himself too.

and hurtled himself towards the sun.

..in a disguised version of su!c!d3..

i was worried they put that on a kids channel.

[dont judge that i was watching that, anyone can watch solarballs]

...and I realized how similar we are.

offending people left and right

and later

pay for it all.

thats why i actually considered taking my life several days ago.

i cant do this.

and nobody seems to care.

sure, they ask if im alright,

and immediately switch the topic to internet issues or a piece of chocolate.

theres nothing left.

im worthless.

this life is worthless.

its empty

meaningless

and has no purpose

just like me.

so why should i even bother

to go on with it.._