Knotted Destiny(ON HOLD TILL APRIL)

05

Purvi Ahuja

"Such a menace she was to his family."

"She's a bad omen!"

"You know her marriage didn't even last for a year and her husband died." [That must have been a terrible shock.]

"Poor lady lost her son at such an old age! Bura sadma laga hoga."

"Even God didn't want a woman like her to be a mother that's why-"

NO!

NO!

NO!

Screams left my throat as I jolted, looking around I realised,

It was a dream. Again.

Again those voices, those blames, those criticisms, those stares…

Everything flashed in front of my eyes, I could still hear them calling me names..

Shutting my eyes I pressed my ears with my palms… but that didn't help.

Unlucky

I bring bad luck everywhere I go.

Why?

What did I do?

Was it my fault?

Was that accident my fault?

Was it my fault that I lost my baby before I even knew of its existence?

Why don't they understand that I was hurt—that I am still hurt?

The memories of my past haunt me, each flash reminds me of my pain.

But I have to move forward—for my parents. I've hurt them enough. If my marriage can bring them happiness, then let it be.

I need to let go of the past. Soon.

I have to.

The day after tomorrow I will be called someone else's fiancé. It would look unpleasant if I keep on ruminating about the past.

I want to let go of the past, I want these nightmares to go away I'm trying.

I-.. I don't want to disappoint the new family who wants to welcome me with open arms. They seem like good people, they talk so sweetly with me just like my family and my best friend.

But I only disappoint people. I only bring bad luck in others' lives.

Why didn't they say no to me? No family would have wanted a daughter-in-law for themselves who's me..
They don't accept girls like us.

*ring*

My thoughts were disrupted when my phone vibrated with a notification.

Pu Bhai: Why did you say yes to the marriage???

I ignored the message, just like he ignored me all these years.