Threads of Emerald

Ropes of Fate: Chapter 28

The Palace was usually quiet late in the evening. The only noise was that which travelled from the city. Sounds that reminded me of bubbling brooks in the forest, sugared plums in the autumn months and cosy fires in the frigid winter.

Today. The one day that I had relied on that quiet, relied on the stillness of the shadows spun by the golden threads of light spilling over the pristine floors, was the day were servants bustled in and out of doorways and up and down corridors as if the world was about to end.

Luckily, Theodore and Ivor hadn't made an appearance. But, if the world had truly turned against me, I imagined they would be waiting in the entranceway.

I could still barely navigate the castle. The breakfast hall was a compass to me, west to the entranceway, east to Nefta's residence.

It must have been almost twenty minutes since the clock had chimed from Amarys.

I needed to hurry.

Urging my feet to hurry up, for the wind to put an oomph in my step, I made it to the carriages that always waited outside of the entranceway.

I'd thought about trying to escape most times I'd sat in the plush carriages. But, I knew that it would be impossible. Guards monitored all entrance points to the city and probably had a photo of my face and a note from Nefta that told them how they would be murdered if they let me leave.

But, if Aphina and mother were safe, I would try. I would try and get to the Emerald Kingdom and if I died trying, then at least I was far away from Nefta and the memories that swirled around my brain and tormented my dreams, turning the gold and silver that used to edge them into the colour of blood and death.

The drivers didn't ask questions, thankfully. Within a minute or so, I was heading through the first gate, the sound of the wheels of the wagons no longer haunting but etched in lightness at the possibility of good news.

Hope was a fickle thing to me, rarely it blessed me. Perhaps that was because I'd stopped believing it when the Winter months sapped the life out of me like bees sapped honey out of flowers.

I'd learned to rely on myself. Only myself.

I relied on mother and father and Aphina. But even they let me down. The memory of how Aphina had raged when I'd captured the rabbit that had brought us back from the brink of starvation resurfaced from the locked trove I had buried deep inside of me. I felt a tinge of guilt as I thought about it. Aphina had just been trying to look after me.

But, it had still felt like kicking someone while they were down. Yes, I made mistakes, but they rarely ever came from a bad place. Perhaps from anger and despair, but the love I felt for those around me heightened every feeling I'd ever had, to the point that I knew it could destroy me.

I knew Aphina could crumple my heart like a paper bag, she'd wrinkled it a few times when she'd not meant to. Seraphina, I hate you. I hate you so much. Childish fights that always left me feeling that familiar slicing pain, as if someone had torn me apart.

I think that was why I'd always left things casual with Rupert too. I'd only known him for a few brief weeks in summer and winter, meaningless encounters from a place of needing to escape from the world around me.

But when I'd seen him that day, it had scared me how deep it'd hit me. He hadn't completely unravelled me. I liked to imagine my feelings as tangible objects. The veil of ice-cold numbness that I'd used to protect me had been pierced by his appearance. Not completely shredded as Aphina could do with a few sharp words off of her tongue.