Story to tell

1

The Birthdate

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Hi,

I was born on June 17th. Which is why, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. Ever since I can remember, wala akong memorable birthday. 

Ah, meron pala. Nung 18th birthday ko, pero don't get me wrong ha. Walang party or whatsoever. Binilhan lang ako ni papa ng laptop and the whole family celebrated it in a buffet restaurant, but that's it.

Oo na, alam ko dapat maging grateful ako. Jinajudge mo naman ako agad, te? 

Don't ge me wrong, I am very grateful. With my family, and how they raised me. Kahit iba yung celebrations ng birthday ko, compared sa other 3 siblings ko. 

June 17th is the day na taon-taon malungkot ako. Where I feel so alone. Where I question my own existence. Oo, naalala nila. Pero alam mo ba yung feeling na nothing special? Yung you want it to be special sana kasi ganoon naman ang gagawin mo for the rest of them pero, wala. 

I remember, nung birthday ni Jane, kapatid ko at pangatlo sa aming magkakapatid. We have no budget that time, they prepared food, nagdisplay pa ng surprise gifts sila mama and papa sa table from a well known brand, nilagay sa table, para paggising ni Jane, masusurprise siya. Her birthday is on April, so ahead siya sa akin. I was thinking 'ah, baka gawin din nila to sa birthday ko', so I was happy and felt excited for my sister. Yes, she was surprised and happy at the same time. Naging masaya din ako to see her that way.

Then, my birthday came. Nothing. We ate at a Mcdonald's branch, and I understand. Kasi nga wala kaming pera that time. And it's okay. 

And so, my 24th birthday came. I was super excited kasi andito na yung boyfriend ko. Which is, akala ko may kasama na kong mag-celebrate. Or may mag-susurprise na sa akin for as long as I had hoped for. Pero, he forgot about it. Hindi man lang niya ko binati. I was overseas that time so I thought, hindi pa siya gising. Pero, wala. The whole day he was busy, inaasikaso niya yung house renovation nila that time. And he admitted, na nakalimutan nga niya. I just cried the whole day, marking my worst birthday ever.

Growing up, I keep these all to myself. Kasi wala naman akong mapagsasabihan, they will all judge me anyway. Atsaka nakakahiya, sasabihin nila puro lang ako kadramahan. 

I am writing this story not to cause any drama, I just want to get this off my chest you know. Let it all out, be me. Set me free and be happy. Yun lang naman talaga.

Tumatanda na din ako mga ante, ayoko nang magdala pa ng kahit na ano during my 40's.