Rights and Wrongs are Written in the Stars

Prologue

            Chūya Nakahara was used to people leaving him. His old friends, his family, even the person he cared the most about. He would never admit to caring about the man, but it was the truth. They had been through so much together; how could he not care about him? When they were teenagers, they had often talked about their future. If they would spend it together, if they would die together. It would seem stupid for that to be something he thought about. But it was something they talked about. They talked about it often, and they always said they would stay together, that they would die together. They had to die together. Neither wanted to leave the other.

Osamu Dazai was used to not feeling things. He never felt anything, no matter the situation. Being in the mafia, killing people as a regular activity, he always searched for feeling. Even when he took the lives of people, he never felt that rush of excitement people had always talked about. He had only ever felt that need to kill. The need for more. His mind always raced, screaming at him to kill. Kill, kill, kill. He always listened. Maybe if he listened, he would feel something. He only felt more emptiness.

Nobody made him feel anything. He didn't even feel discomfort when Mori, his boss, would speak of his desires with children, which wasn't often, but it still happened. He'd searched his whole life for feeling. A reason to live. That reason came when he was fifteen, throwing him into a wall, then kicking him in the face. Who knew he would meet the only person who ever made him feel anything, just for him to be something he left behind?

Dazai never told anyone other than his boss when he left the Port Mafia. After his boss granted the permission, he packed up what little things he had and left, not before placing a bomb under his partner's car and blowing it up. In his case, it was a parting gift. The older boy had the hot pink motorcycle anyway. Dazai felt guilt when he left. It wasn't something he often felt. He didn't want to leave his partner behind, just like everyone else. The ginger had no friends anymore, no family he could trust. Only Dazai. And now he was leaving. Dazai knew that if he asked, Chūya would've been able to hold him back. But Dazai needed to do this.

Dazai would have turned back, but he needed to do this. He promised himself he was never going to let Chūya be the second choice again, but he had promise Oda he would be a good person. He promised to go to the good side. It hurt him to leave Chūya. It was a strange feeling. He wanted to bring him along, but Chūya worked so hard for his position in the mafia, no way Dazai would let him give that up just for Dazai's childish reasons. So, he just left. Left without a word. It would be the easiest for the both of them.