It's been 2 weeks, three days, and 7 hours since Marcus came to visit. And let me tell you, he was driving me up the wall. I wanted to kill him. I was having serious thoughts about it.
He won't let me do anything without him, he refuses to let me out of his sight for even the smallest things. I have to use the bathroom, he walks me there, I want to go outside, he's there. I needed to breathe or I was going to lose my shit.
Thankfully tonight I had some big party to attend, courtesy of no other than the wonderful beauty magazine, and I planned on enjoying myself. I'd been working hard, I think I deserved at least tonight to have fun.
Unfortunately, Marcus did not agree.
"And this is an industry party?" He asked for the umpteenth time.
"Yes Marcus. It's an industry party. And yes I'm going to go. And no, you are not coming." I rushed out. He stared at me with a mischievous glint in his eye, while I looked at him confusedly. What was going on in that brain of his?
He kissed my cheek and assured me that he was totally supportive of me going to the party and having an amazing time, which I will admit, surprised me to no end.
It was too good to be true. He'd just been willing to tape me to the ceiling if that's what it would take to keep me home, and now he was all for it. I shot him a look that could kill and he raised his hands in surrender.
"What have I done now my love?" He said purposely using his accent to his advantage. I stepped closer to him and was forced to look up being that I was obviously a lot shorter. He took the opportunity to kiss my neck.
"Don't you 'my love me,' please don't fuck this up Marcus. You know how important it is to me. This is a huge night for me, and I would like to enjoy it without you getting all crazy and shit." I sighed.
He looked surprisingly at me and furrowed his brows.
"Someone has acquired quite the potty mouth hanging around new people." I slapped his chest with all my force, immediately regretting it when I remembered his injury.
"Marcus Grey, promise me that you won't fuck around tonight. Please."
Marcus's eyes twinkled as he gave me a cheeky grin and I frowned. He was definitely planning something.
"Scouts honor baby."
A few hours later the party was in full swing. Everyone looked absolutely amazing. I was wearing a long black halter top gown with a long slit going up my right leg, not too much cleavage, not too little. Just the right amount. My hair was straightened and out up in a tidy bun, which allowed view of my face which was covered lightly in makeup and bright red lips to bring it all together. My date, of course, was Antonio. Marcus was definitely not for the idea, but I assured him that nothing would happen and he told me that he would be there later. Antonio looked great, his suit matched my dress perfectly and his eyes looked especially dramatic due to all the black he was wearing.
He looked down and smirked at me. "You're staring." He said huskily into my ear. I laughed lightly and pushed him away.
"In your dreams kid." He feigned hurt and went to get another drink. I didn't think he should be drinking so much, but that wasn't any of my business.
While he got his drink I took the chance to get on the dance floor and start dancing. All of a sudden I felt someone behind me, gripping my waist tightly as I swayed my hips to the rhythm of the song. I was a little tipsy myself, but I wouldn't let myself get drunk to the point that I didn't know what was going on.
When the song ended I walked to the right wing of the ballroom where someone told me Antonio might be.
Sure enough he was there, sitting around a small table cutting lines and snorting them. I opened my eyes widely and was about to turn to leave when he looked up.
His eyes looked as wild as they did wide and his nose was noticeably red.
"Hey beautiful," he purred at me. Usually I would roll my eyes because I knew he was playing around, but tonight, he sounded different. Almost predatory. And I was scared out of my mind. I took a step back as he got up and came towards me. "Where you going? Want some?" He asked nodding towards the nearly cut lines on the table where he'd once occupied.
I shook my head no and took another step back, feeling my back hit the door. He was in front of me in seconds, his hands trapping me in front of him as he bent his forehead to touch mine. I heard the door knob click shut and felt my heart beat speed up as he trailed his hands up and down my body. And brought his lips closer to mine.
"Antonio." I managed to get out. He stared at me almost wickedly and smirked. I turned my face so that his lips went to my cheek and he grabbed my face roughly, pushing it back on the door, causing me to groan in pain.
He crashed his lips onto mine, basically attacking and his hands roamed my body viciously as I tried to shove him off. Every effort was met by another push back into the door and I felt hot tears spilling out of my eyes when his hand trailed under my dress and into my underwear, he thrust his finger inside of me and I screamed. I felt repulsive. I had never felt so weak in my life and all I could do was cry as he pumped his fingers inside of me. When he moved his lips from mine I looked up at him in pure disgust and felt nothing but hate for him. I heard his belt begin to come loose and I tried to wiggle free of his grip. Without thinking I spat at his face and watched his face twist into shock and then anger at my action. Before I knew what was happening his hand was at my neck, choking me as he slammed my body against the door.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I gasped for air as he kept his hands on my neck, I thought that I would die right there, but all of a sudden his grip loosened as he threw me on the floor releasing me and kicking me repeatedly and several times in the shin & ribs. He was out of it. Drugs and alcohol were a bad mix. I struggled to regain my breath as he went back to the table finishing his last line and putting the remaining substance into a small bag.
I was still on the floor when there was a knock at the other end of the door. His head snapped up quickly as he stalked back over to me picking me up from under my arms and putting me to stand which proved to be a difficult task as my legs felt as if they would give out at anytime. I felt broken.
"Get yourself cleaned up Bella, nobody is going to know about this, do you understand me?" He spat.
I nodded and began to fix my dress and hair. I walked over to the mirror and fixed my makeup before plastering on a fake smile and walking through the door that he opened for me. He kissed my cheek gently and allowed whoever it was at the door to go inside the now unoccupied room as I found a seat at a nearby table and tried to keep myself from crying.
I reached for my phone that had cracked in a couple places due to my fall and read through my messages.
Marcus: Baby
Marcus:Where are you?
Marcus: I'm on my way there Alyssa, are you okay?
Marcus: Can you fucking text me back, please. I'm going crazy.
Marcus: Alyssa, I'm caught in traffic. I'm sorry. I'll be there any minute.
Marcus: I'm here
Marcus: I've been down here for at least an hour. Alyssa where are you
And the last one only 2 minutes ago.
Marcus: Okay, that's it. I'm coming upstairs.
My eyes widened in fear and I trudged on my coat and walked as fast as I could to the exit. He could not come up here and see me in this light. He'd go crazy and ruin everything. I descended the stairs as quickly as I could and tried to meet Marc out front. As I was making the turn to he second and final staircase I bumped into someone and bit my teeth in pain. I said my apologies quickly and moved to walk around the person. The mystery person grabbed my arm, and I cringed. Not again.
"Alyssa. Where are you going?" I heard Marc say. I squinted and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that it was him that was holding me. I shook my head and smiled falsely.
"I'm sorry babe, the lights are just so dim here." He chuckled, pulled me closer to him and bent his head to kiss me, but his lips connected with my hand as I pushed away. I didn't want anyone to touch me. I felt like a slut. I felt disgusting and cheap and used. And now I felt like a bitch seeing the expression that his face now wore. I mumbled an 'I'm sorry,' and ran downstairs to get some air before he met me in the car. Within seconds he was there and I couldn't find it in my heart to look at him. He deserved so much more than me. He got into the front seat and pushed the key into the ignition ,starting the car. Before he pulled off, he rested his head on the steering wheel briefly and sighed.
"What's wrong Alyssa? I promised you I wouldn't come ruin your night. And it's like I already did. Please talk to me."
I sat silently in the back, unable to form words. I wish he would have came and ruined it earlier before everything happened, but I was to blame. I told him not to come. I went with Antonio. I chose not to stay home. It was all my fault and now Marcus had to deal with my fucked up self when it wasn't any of his fault.
The drive was slow. The tension in the car was so thick that you could literally cut with a knife. And when we got to the house and he opened my door, I got out slowly. He went to open the house door and I walked through. When I heard his fingers searching for the wall I gasped and grabbed his arm.
"Please, leave them off, I kind of have a headache from drinking. " I rushed out. In the dim light I could see him nod and sigh. He went straight to the bedroom and I followed behind closely.
I watched him remove his shirt and hold his head in his hands. I felt horrible. Why couldn't I be a good wife to him, he didn't deserve to feel this way. Like he'd done something wrong when in reality he's been doing everything right.
I went to take a shower and when out I felt my way to my closet and pulled out a turtle neck and black leggings. And threw them in quickly. By the time I got to bed Marcus was already laying there. He attempted to hold me and I couldn't bring myself to make him do it. I just felt unworthy of any kind of affection.
"Alyssa, what the fuck have I done? Why are you behaving so coldly tonight? Everything was fine before you left. Did something happen at the party?"
I squeezed my eyes together and whispered 'no,' I didn't want him to worry about me. He sighed and turned away from me. Drifting into his sleep.
When I woke, it was so light in my room. So airy and clean, the opposite of what I felt. I realized that Marcus wasn't in the room and took the opportunity to take another shower, but no matter how hard I scrubbed I still felt dirty. I still felt his disgusting hands inside of me, pumping viciously, leaving me sore in the worst way. When I got out and towel dried, I assessed myself in the mirror.
Dark purple bruises on my neck where he choked me, bruises & welts on my ribs and shins where he kicked me, a bruise on my back from multiple slams to the door. And my wrist was sore and felt horrible. I must have sprained it trying to break my fall.
I felt the tears threatening to spill as I looked myself over again. Who was the woman looking back at me? I slumped my tiny form against the tub and allowed myself to grieve. I didn't know who I was anymore.
I got up two minutes later and opened the door to get out of the room, with hopes to get something from my closet that would cover all the marks. But when I opened the door, I came face to face with Marc who's look changed from adoration to anger as he took me in. I shrunk back under his gaze and looked down
"Alyssa!" He yelled causing me to flinch. "What happened to you."
I looked around the room in shame and shook my head and told him nothing happened. He glared at me obviously aware of my lie.
"I fell." He breathed in and out deeply and closed his eyes tightly before opening them again.
"Okay, now try telling me the truth." He said softly. He was trying to calm himself down, but that all went out the window when I stuck with my story.
His hand hit the wall next to my face so hard that it crumbled at the force. His action caused me to flinch back and hold my hands in front of my face. He inhaled sharply and put his hands down slowly.
"Oh Lyssa, baby. You know I would never," He started to say but stopped when I realized that I was hyperventilating. "Who put their hands on you?" I looked down at the ground and stayed silent.
"Alyssa please," He pleaded with me. "I want to help you." I shook my head no.
"Please baby." I looked at him and saw that he was about to break down. His voice was cracking and I almost told him. "Was it a man?" I nodded slowly.
He looked at me with so much pain in his eyes that I started bawling. My body racked with sobs uncontrollably, reminding me of the pain in my ribs. I held them gently, not wanting to hurt myself further and sat in the middle of the floor. He came to join me and swept my hair from my face so that he could look into my eyes.
"I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. To protect you. But when I find that son of a bitch he's going to die slowly. He's lucky he didn't try anything else on you or I would just have to find him now and make him wish he was never born." He said trying to lighten the mood but it failed when he saw my expression at his statement. He closed his eyes and examined me once more, noting the deep purple bruises on both my inner thighs from being gripped so tightly. "He raped you."
You could see his struggle to get the words out. It pained him to say it, to even think about it. I reached out to grab his hand. Which he took fearfully. He feared my next words, we were both shaking. Me out of trauma, him of anger.
"Did he rape you Alyssa?" He asked slowly, through gritted teeth. I shook my head.
"No. Well I'm not sure." His head snapped up as he stared at me.
"What the fuck does that mean?" He growled out.
"He held me down and kissed on me and fingered me, but he didn't get to..um do that. Because when I heard his belt start to go undone I spat at him and that's why he hit me. It was my fault. I shouldn't have done that. I knew that he'd been using substance and drinking. I shouldn't have gone. I feel like such a fucking slut. I feel dirty." Marcus looked more angry than I had ever seen him in my life. He literally looked like he was ready to kill. He stood up and put on a shirt as I watched him.
"Give me a name." He snarled. I shook my head no. And urged him to sit down.
"No. We can move on from this. I don't need you to go and get yourself in trouble for this. It's over now okay." He looked at me as if I was retarded and widened his eyes.
"Move on? No fucking way. I can't even touch you anymore because of this asshole. Blood will be shed Alyssa. Please make this easy for me, because it's going to get done either way. And I would love for you to cooperate with me on this." I looked up and shook my head.
"No Marcus. I won't do that."
"Why the fuck are you protecting him?" He questioned, hurt evident in his voice.
"I'm protecting you. You know how much trouble you could get in?" He narrowed his eyes at me.
"Fuck it. I'll do this without your help. You and I both know I'm very clean with my work. So cut the crap." We stared each other down until the doorbell rang and Marc went to get it. My heart began to beat faster than ever as I realized he'd left with whoever came. And that only means one thing. He'd called one of his guys and they were out for blood.
Literally.
