What hurts the most

Part 3

Part 3:

Marlena:

Somehow Roman managed to convince me to have dinner at the pub. And I must admit that it was a good idea and a much needed distraction from worrying about John.
Caroline and Shawn are so happy to have their son back and they have full faith that he will overcome this illness. We have all been chatting and enjoying the evening and I have managed to actually pay attention and participate in conversation despite the fact that the information Abe shared keeps running through my mind.

If Kristen is with John, what does that mean? John hates her after what she put me and John through and how she lied about everything. Something about this unsettles me and makes my skin crawl. She is up to something, I feel it in my bones.

"It's just so good to be back" Roman says and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "And I can't believe how lucky I am that this woman right here is still walking around single..It's almost as if she was just waiting for me..and for that I'm grateful." He says and pulls me closer to place a kiss on my cheek.
I feel my body freeze and an uncomfortable feeling spreads through my bones. Shawn and Caroline notice my uneasiness as our eyes meet and exchange a silent conversation and understanding. They know the toll this situation or charade you may call it, is taking on me. Letting Roman believe that I am available and completely neglecting to tell him about John and me, about how we were going to get married the day Kristen brought him back, might turn out to be a huge mistake. It isn't fair to him, to me and definitely not to John.
I want to tell him the truth about everything but for each day that passes it becomes harder and we all get pulled even deeper into the web of lies created by Kristen...God I hate that bitch..

The air in here suddenly feels thick, claustrophobic..I need to get out of here.

"Marlena, are you okay? You look a little pale?" Caroline asks concerned and places her hand over mine.

"I'm just tired I guess...Thank you for tonight and for a lovely dinner." I say as I stand up and grab my coat.

Roman is quickly on his feet ready to go with me. I was hoping that he would stay for a while longer so I could have some time to myself and stop by the pier in the hopes of seeing John, or just to  feel his presence somehow..wherever he is.

"Roman, you can stay if you want." I say.

"No no, I'm ready to go home." He gives me a smile and again leans in and kisses my cheek.

Something about the way he says home makes me cringe inside. The penthouse has never been his home. It's John's home, he bought it for me with the hope of it eventually becoming our home, together.

"Maybe we could take a stroll along the pier on our way home. I remember how much you love that place." Roman says and takes my hand.

He may remember my love for that place but he has absolutely no idea what it means to me or what it represents in terms of my relationship and connection with John.

Before I get a chance to say anything, Roman pulls my hand and leads me out the door. As the door closes behind me, I turn around to see Caroline giving me a sad empathic smile. She knows what the pier means to me and she has heard the amazing story of how John and I reunited there after years apart. She understands our incredible and unexplainable connection and how that magical force pulled both of us to the pier, that special night 6 years ago.

John:

Her skin is soft against my rough palm as my hand travels along her long slender leg. My fingers dig into her flesh, worthshiping every single inch of her perfect body, squeezing, tickling, caressing. I can't seem to get enough of her. She squirms beneath me and moans out her appreciation for my busy hands. The sounds she makes are among the most beautiful sounds in the world and they draw me deeper into the spell she has cast on me since I first laid eyes on her.

"Oh how I love you..make love to me.." She manages to let out between gasps.

I have absolutely no intention of denying her request.. no the contrary. I plan to devour her, to taste every inch of her, to bury myself deep inside of her and make her scream my name over and over until she has nothing left. I need to make her remember our love, our uncontrollable passion and desire and make her forget Roman once and for all.

My hand seeks the heat radiating from between her thighs. She parts her legs slightly, opening herself up and inviting me in. The second my curious fingers slide between her silky folds and discover how wet she is for me, I groan deeply and struggle to suppress the primal instinct of taking her right then and there.
Her sticky juices coat my fingers as I bury them as deep as they can go inside of her tight canal. Again the noises she makes, combined with the intoxicating scent of her arousal is driving me crazy with lust.
I need to taste her..my hungry mouth quickly finds her breast and takes her rosy bud between my teeth and bite softly, just enough to challenge the fine line between pleasure and pain. We have always had a special way of communicating, especially during sex. We don't need words, it's as if our bodies instinctively know what the other wants. So when I feel her hands grab a tight hold of my hair and pull my head even closer, I know my small love bite has ignited even more passion.

Her back arches as I feast on her full breast and my fingers pump in and out of her with the sole purpose of making her explode with desire.

My mouth lets go of her breast with a loud pop. I need to see her face, to see the pleasure I'm giving her, I need to see the love in her eyes.

"Look at me!" I demand.

I feel her inner walls tighten and pulsate around my fingers, she's close, and I know that my demand will require her to use all of her willpower to not orgasm right then and now.

"John..!!" She pants in despair, begging me permission to let herself go.

"No...look at me baby.." My voice is hoarse from my own arousal yet soft and full of love for this amazing woman.

She struggles to breathe, her breaths coming in short shallow pants. And then she opens those beautiful hazel eyes, which are now a shade so dark with passion that I momentarily stop my ministrations on her body.

"John..." She begs as her hips rise and gyrate against my hand, incurring me to continue.

"Promise...promise me that you will never leave me.." I whisper.

She grabs my head and pulls me further up her body so that our faces are so close that I can taste her sweet breath on my lips. My eyes lock with hers and then I hear what I have been dying to hear her say for months.
"I love you..only you..forever and always.. and I promise you that I will never leave you again..now..please fuck me!!"

Our mouths collide in a carnal sloppy kiss. Our tongues battle and teeth bite as there are no longer any restraints.

I withdraw my hand from her warm slick pussy and position my hard impatient cock between her long legs.
Just as I'm about to bury myself within her warmth, I feel a sharp pain in my head.
The hairs in the back of my neck stand up when I hear an all too familiar voice. "Welcome back my Pawn!"

I wake up with a shock, drenched in sweat. It takes me a second to realize where I am. I'm still in the dark motel room with empty bottles of whiskey on the floor. My head is pounding but the pain seems different from the typical hangover headache I normally have. And then I remember my dream...it was just a dream..Marlena is not here with me. And then I hear his voice again, echoing in the back of my mind...Stefano...