Silence

Chapter 12

Shamus and I made it back to the dorm safely. It was only about 5 in the afternoon, so we went to the mess hall again for dinner. Shamus had barely said a word the entire ride home until we ordered. I got boxty with a side of mashed potatoes. It was bland and almost tasteless. Shamus turned towards me and said, "I'm not very hungry. I'll head up first." Then, he picked up his tray and threw it away.

I watched his back walk away. His friends weren't saying anything. They were talking amongst themselves. I stood up and threw away my tray, too. What a waste of money for something that tasted like nothing. I followed up the steps after him. When I found him, he was standing outside of our door.

I reached out and touched his shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked. He turned towards me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," He whispered. "I'm gonna take a shower." He opened the door and walked in. I followed suit. I threw myself onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling. I didn't want to think about anything. I needed one night with no thoughts. A night filled with nothing. I heard the bathroom door open. I didn't know how long I'd been looking at the ceiling.

Shamus's face appeared above mine. I gazed into his eyes. They were brown with a tinge of yellow around the pupils. I reached up, and put my arms around his neck and pulled my lips to his. All I needed was comfort. A night filled with nothing. His lips pushed against mine. I closed my arms and leaned into him.

He only had a towel around his waist. And then he didn't, and it was just the two of us in our own little world. His tongue entered my mouth, and his hands slipped my shirt off. We moved to the bedroom. On his bed, his body leaned over mine as the rest of my clothes came off. There was no Shane, no heartbreak, death, destruction, wars, friends, illness, just us.

The next morning was my first day of class. I was nervous for my first real day of university. My first class of the day was Audiology. I was supposed to learn the basics of anatomy. I was majoring in health sciences, which meant I had classes for CPR stretching all the way to anatomy, like this class. Just 20 minutes in, and I already liked Audiology. It was an interesting and exciting subject of study.

After my classes, I hung out in the courtyard doing a bit of homework under the midday sun. My phone buzzed beside me. It was an update on Murray's case. He'd been caught a few days ago trying to flee Ireland by boat. They're deciding the day of his trial. I wasn't going to forgive him, not now, not anytime soon. But, at the same time, I wanted to know why he did what he did. Was he Nyx? Nyx had stopped DMing me after the incident.

I'd hoped that Murray was Nyx. It'd be easier that way. I'd be losing two sources of fright with one stone. I sighed, set my phone down, and leaned my head towards the sun. It caressed my face lightly. It felt nice, just being. I set my homework aside, checked the time, and left campus. I was going to visit Shane. I felt slightly guilty, but there wasn't anything to actually be guilty about. I lay my head lightly against the bus window. I looked down at my phone absentmindedly, scrolling through Instagram.

Shamus texted me, asking me where I was. I replied with a "visiting" and went back to watching reels until I got off the bus, my phone buzzing every few minutes with a text from him. I walked up to the front and signed in. I felt like I was going through the motions. A thought of 'not doing this anymore' crossed my mind quickly as I sat down beside his bedside.

I held his hand and leaned my head against his thighs, thinking. What about, I couldn't tell you. I was out of it. I closed my eyes and thought about Shamus and me last night. I didn't regret it, but it probably wasn't the best idea after everything had happened. Shamus had a nice body, much more muscular than mine was. I hadn't worked out a day in my life, but he seemed to at least once a week.

My mind was washed down a gutter, as I gently fell into a deep sleep.

I awoke to Shamus shaking my shoulders. I looked at him through groggy eyes and said, "Hey." He looked pissed. "Something wrong?"

"No, not really. I was just worried since you stopped responding to my texts."

"Yeah, but I told you where I was." He glared but sat down beside me.

"It's been three or four hours, and I couldn't find you."

"Okay, fine. I concede." I looked around. "Let's go home." I let go of Shane and grabbed Shamus's hand. We walked back to university and had dinner in the mess hall with his friend group.