❤ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 ❤

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

My head is hanging low with my eyes closed– they are too tired to be kept open. I have my arms crossed, brought close to my body while I tremble in the frozen temperature. While my tears are  slowly turning into icicles, my teeth are chattering away as I begin turning into a literal ice statue.

I rise my rigid, paralysed hand to my chest, where my heart would be situated under. I feel the rhythmic pattern against my skin...

Baddum. baddum. baddum. baddum. 

I have been checking my heartbeat every now and then, checking if I am still alive. Every time I did, I thought that I surely wasn't. Even though I hear and feel the beats, I also feel how my heartstrings pulled and tightened, ready to snap at any moment.

Even though I'm basically dying right now, the cold helped me clear my mind. Clear my thoughts about everything that has happened so far. Maybe I should have taken this situation in a different way?

But of course, I can't go back to the past. We have to move forward, keep on looking straight and never turn back. But it's hard to do so.. You know? Taking a step into the unknown is scary.. But I guess... we do it everyday, don't we? And that's what I got to do now.

I was so engrossed in pulling myself together that I hadn't realised how fast the time had passed. Looking at my blue and purple hands, I figure that I've been out here for a very long time. The street lamps quickly flashed, turning on, signalling that it will be dark soon.

My mind is set but my heart isn't ready yet. Yeah... uhm– Maybe I should wait until tomorrow!

A distant sound catches my attention. A gentle humming is heard coming closer and closer– It is a car's engine. Soon enough, a black Mercedes pulls up in front of the park I am sitting in and stops next to the entrance.

Curiously, I tilt my head to see who it is. As soon as I see the person, I immediately want to run away again, hide somewhere. But I can't. My body's state right now says otherwise; I am basically anchored on the bench, glued to the seat and unable to move. Not even my hair, water-falled on both sides of my face.

I see him, shutting the door briskly and then looking around with frantic eyes, searching for me. We lock eyes, and in a quick second, he is standing right in front of me. My eyes instinctively fall to the ground as my lips tighten into a thin line.

Am I ready to talk?

There is dead silence. The bristling of the dead leaves, still barely hanging on a naked branch, is the only thing you can hear, but that doesn't stop him from moving. I suddenly feel a thick fabric being draped around my shoulders, and without a word, he picks me up, bridal style, leading us to the awaiting car.

I stay still with no complaint. Instead, I lean into him even more and snuggle up inside the warmth of his jacket, onto his cushiony chest. He carefully places me on the passenger seat and buckles me up before putting his puffy coat as a blanket on me.

While he drives, I take a nap because of how much energy I wasted, finally feeling toasty-warm and safe. We arrive in front of a building I have never seen before and wonder where he took us. My question immediately got answered when he broke the ice.

"This is my apartment. I'm not going to do anything, please let me take care of you and let's talk about... you know.. Okay qīnqīn?" he looks me in the eyes with a desperate gaze. I nod whilst fiddling with the zipper of his jacket on my lap.

He gets out of the car first and jogs to my side of the vehicle to open the door for me like the gentleman he is. I get out and grasp his hand for support, he holds onto it, afraid I am going to run away once again.