Last Of Spirit Bear

Esperanza

TW!! SUICIDE

(And lesbians)/J

Esperanza stared at the alarm that rung in her ear to remind her to get up and ready for school. Instead of reaching over to pause it, she let it ring. She didn't feel like doing anything, not anymore. Everyday it got harder and harder to get out of bed. Because now the only person who cared for her was gone and couldn't come back, no matter how hard she'd clutch her pillow at night, sobbing into it. Some nights, she didn't even cry. She just stared at the ceiling and wished for this hell to be over, wished for her to come back.

But, alas, she was still a student, which meant she still had to attend school.

She stared blankly at her ringing phone for a while longer. Before, her mind would be flooded with thoughts or feelings. But now, she felt numb.

She reluctantly got up, a deep growing yearning and sickness churning in her gut. But that's how she felt every morning, especially school days.

School days were just days after days on end of being ignored and humiliated. It was stupid, and so were all her classmates.

She gulped down the feeling of wanting to scream and cry and vomit all at once and got ready. She used to care for appearance, taking the time to thoroughly brush through her hair or do her makeup. But now, she didn't even brush her teeth. She felt disgusting, yet couldn't get herself to do anything hygienic other then shower.

She stared at herself at the mirror. At the mess she'd become, mostly. She scratched at her pale skin, leaving red streaks that eventually faded away with time. She was albino, according her doctor it was a genetic condition that made almost everything about her extremely pale, even her hair was basically white.

Contrary to popular belief, Albinism doesn't only effect African Americans. It can occur in any ethnicity or race. She was full Salvadorian, yet the kids at school last year assumed otherwise. They'd either give her off stares, make fun of her, or worse, call her a certain racial slur that had nothing to even do with her race. Technically, ignoring ethnicity, she was white.

She hated everything about herself. She'd never fit in ever, the only person who gave her a chance was..

She held back the tears forming.

At least, that's what she used to think.

Now, she had someone again. In fact, she was practically part of a group!

Lily was always so kind to her. Esperanza cared for her and the others dearly, but..

Even though life had been getting better, she still felt a chunk of her heart missing. Like someone grabbed it without any remorse and tore it out of her chest.

She opened her phone to ignore her troubles, but instead was greeted by something horrible.

The date. The date she died. How could she have forgotten?

--

Esperanza held back tears as she visit the memorial at the school for her again.

She felt nothing but anger for the people who suddenly switched up, pretending like they weren't the ones who caused her death. Acting like they were buddies all along, caring oh so much and mourning for 2 days just to look good. But Esperanza knew.

Just then, Lily tapped on her shoulder.

"Esperanza! You want to get to class earlier today? We have finals coming soon, and I want to be prepared."

Esperanza looked back and smiled weakly.

"Sorry Lily. I think I want to stay here for a bit longer." She said solemnly.