It was one of those days where you just want to break down and cry for hours. When everything someone says to you suddenly is wrong and hurts your feelings. I didn't understand why I was in that mood, maybe it was because all the memories liked to crawl up from under the floor boards and haunt me.
It was around two in the morning and I was just settling down for the day. I had been studying for a huge test in biology all evening and now, I was alone- as I liked- and was staring at the ceiling like it was a motion picture movie. The peacefulness of my surroundings was the most beautiful thing ever.
I was just about to dose off to sleep when I heard a vase break downstairs. I sighed as I went downstairs. I walked down the long staircase through our modern home, it was rather large and hard to maneuver through.
" I'm sorry," my older sister slurred as she basically stumbled into the doorway, "I'm sorry."
I sighed at the state of my the state of my older sister Samantha as I scrambled to keep her on her feet. I had grabbed her by her left arm and supported her on my right shoulder while I dragged her to the living room.
At a normal time, when she wasn't
under the influence, she would have cheerfully hopped up the two flights of stairs in order to sleep in her room across from mine. Yet, right now was different and I placed her on the couch in order to save her- and me - the misery of going up them stairs.
She fell back on to our couch lazily and
i lifted up her legs to take off her heels and to place them in a more comfortable position. I took a soft blanket that my grandmother had knitted years ago and covered her up with it. I nodded my head in approval as I heard light snoring from my sister and turned to go up to my room again.
After the latest episode of my sister I decided it would be a good idea for me to get some rest so I went through my room and hid underneath the safety of my sheets until i dozed off into a deep sleep.
I woke up to a soft knock at my door, and wiped my groggy eyes as I turned around to look at my sister. She still looked a bit sickly but I am guessing it is from the headache she is bound to have right now.
"Thankyou, for last night Isabel," she said to me a sweetly as her course voice could. She was in the mist of the after symptoms of drinking. Not only physical, but emotional too, she was in the guilty stage.
"It's alright," I assured her as I gave her a weak smile. "That is what sisters are for."
The look she gave me then broke my heart. It was like her entire soul flattened and she started to weep entirely. Yet she disguised it quickly by her normal look of confidence. She was shutting me out again.
"It's Saterday, what does my little sissy have planned for today?" Samantha liked to come up with nicknames for me and they were all a bit obnoxious but I learned to deal with them.
" I was going to go the park with Ariana but she cancelled, so nothing."
"Well then, considering it is only eleven we are going to get ready and go have lunch at the park, okay?" Samantha said it in a manner I wish I had, it was sweet yet authoritative at the same time and made it impossible for you to say no.
Therefor, I sighed at her attempt at bonding while shaking my head, yet when I looked into her eyes I realized I had to go with her, for her sake. "Alright sissy, but give me ten more minutes in bed."
She squealed, which suprised me for someone who has a hangover and- very skillfully forgetting about my last wishes- ripped off my blankets and spoke, "Get ready."
Then I did because it was my only resonable option. I got dressed and hurried downstairs until i saw my sister all dressed up in a small dress with heels. I sighed as I saw what she had decided to wear to the park. Yet I chose not to say anything because it was her problem now
I on the other hand was in sandals and a black romper, I didn't appriciate drawing attention to myself with outfits and such. So me and my sister headed out the door. We went towards the driveway and searched through the rows of cars until we found one my sister wanted to drive.
May I remind you that when I say "we" I mean her due to the fact I am not included in making them desicions.
I just tag along with her, even if she is the one accompanying me to the park. So we drove the two blocks for no apparent reason- probably for my sister to show off her car- and then parked on the side of the road.
I began to think back on when I agreed to come here with her, and the nickname I called her. I remembered the foreign taste it made when i said it out. It used to come smoothly but now it feels wrong. Yet my daydream was cut off when she slammed her car door closed.
We then went out and headed towards the small cart that sells hotdogs and icecream and typical carnival foods. The man who owned this cart is a retired carnival owner, he handedthe buisness to his son but kept the cart because it was the forst addition to the carnival he made.
"Hello Mr. R," I spoke politely, "How are you?"
"Just fine my dear, what would you like today, " he questioned from behind the counter.
"Two salads please," my sister said confidently without wven glancing at the menu of greasy foods they have at the booth.
"Mam, we don't sell salads here, but you can try a burger and fries, it's my specialty." I could tell him trying to be polite beneath the level of annoyances she caused.
Before she could say anything even further embarrassing I cut her off by saying " Two of those please, Mr. R."
So he made two burgers and two small fries and set them out where my sister handed him a twenty dollar bill and said to keep the change. Then we went to the park tables and sat down ti eat, where she picked at her burger with a fork she picked up.
As for me, I ate the burger down in only four minutes. I figured I would need the energy if I were to endure the rest of the say with Samantha. We sat down in an awkward scilence as I tried to avoid her shamelessly checking out local boys that were hanging out around the park.
I noticed her stalling to go and talk to them based on her hesitant facial expression. Once she made eye contact with me I rolled my eyes and began to stand up.
"You can just go talk to them, I will walk home." I normally wouldn't make a scene with her but I was done with her distance. She was the one who wanted to accompany me at the park, yet she ruined it by causing it to be awkward.
" Izzy, you don't have to-" she was cut off by me turning quickly and walking off at a speed i knew she couldn't match in her heels. I got about halfway out of the park when I looked back to realize she wasn't even going after me.
She was dangling her hand over the chest of a boy with dark brown hair, and deep blue eyes. I glanced slightly to the right to meet the capturing eyes of a boy, around my age that had a disgusted look on his face. My guess is it comes from the desperation lurking off my sister.
His expression softened as he caught my eye. I didnt like this much attention, so I forced myself to stare at the ground and to speed walk out of the park, back to my home.
My home.
Technically, it was my home, as Ive always lived in the huge mansions looking building. Yet, it didnt belong to me, my parents bought it, even though they aren't home most of the time.
It didn't feel like home.
