New Beginning's

Chapter 13

Christina POV:

I hurt more the longer I don't talk to my mother. I try hard to keep my feelings to myself because I don't want to burden anyone since they are all dealing with their own issues. I would reach out to my mom sometimes but never got a response back. I was a mistake, She doesn't love me the way she loves other men.
It was now time for lunch, and Lisa and I were seated at our usual lunch table. Both of us hardly spoke to anyone else; everyone is so strange.

Lisa: How are you doing this week? (She adds as she sits down and places her plate on the table)

Christina: Eh, I don't know. (Poking my food with my fork)

Lisa: Tell me about it. (She smiles)

Christina: No it's okay, I don't want to bring my dark cloud over your rainbow.

Lisa: Girl if you don't just tell me! (As she rolls her eyes playfully)

Christina: Well you know.. umm, I haven't spoken to my mother in months, and every time I try to get in touch with her, I get no response. And I can tell that my grandparents is lying to me since they constantly get silent when I bring up the subject. I just don't understand. Sometimes I just wish I were never alive, I wish I could disappear and not worry about anyone and anything. (As I began to shed some tears) I'm sorry...

Lisa: This is how you feel, and you should always express it because holding it inside of you could shatter you. There's no need to apologize. And don't wish that onto yourself. God gave you life and you are here for a purpose. I'm sure your mother only wants the best for you because she loves you so much.

Christina: But how? Ignoring me is what's best for me? No contact is what's best for me?

Lisa: I'm not saying that it is best but in her eyes it is. You know I took a lot of parenting classes so I understand parents a lot. And it appears that she needs to distance herself from you in order to come together and make changes. She needs time to herself so that she can think more clearly, even though she loves you.

Christina: Okay, I understand. thank you Left Eye (I smile)

I call her left eye since she always wears a black line under her left eye. She loves the name!

Lisa: So..... I was wondering.. if maybe... you could..

Christina: Just say it already! (We laugh)

Lisa: Well I was invited to this college house party this girl is having tonight and most of the school will be there and I was wondering if you could come with me? (She says with a huge smile)

Christina: Umm, I wasn't invited.

Lisa: Yes you was! I invited you, pleaseeee.. (she begged)

Christina: I'm going to have to ask my grandparents.

Lisa: Yay! But you have to lie because these house parties are crazy.

Christina: Well then what to say?

Lisa: Just tell them that I'm having a get together at my house with like 4 other friends then you could make up with the rest later.

I never been invited to a party before so of course I'm going to go!

Christina: I don't know what to wear though..

Lisa: Girl please, I got so much clothes so you'll be good.

We chatted the whole lunch hour..
At last, school was out. Instead of getting picked up I catched the bus, I finally begged nana to let me ride it!
I checked my phone when I arrived home to see if I had any notifications, but like usual I don't so I just texted nana to tell her I made it. I grabbed my backpack and sat on my bed while pulling out my Chromebook and notebooks. Nana had to go sing with my aunts today, and Grandad had to leave for a business trip, so I was the only one at home. However, I'm not sure where Ki and J Drew were.
Tomorrow is my biology test, and I just know I'm going to fail. I need to make sure I pass this test before I go to any party.
It was now 6:15 when Nana and J Drew finally got home