Learning To Trust Again

Chapter 3

As soon as Freen was out of the club, she let her tears to roll down her cheeks freely. She hugged herself and cried harder. She thought she was already in a right place, in a right state of mind. She thought that her therapy helped her, but as soon as she  shared some intimacy with someone, it triggered everything once again. The memories of that day came back with a force. She wanted to shout..

When she closed her eyes, Becky's face appeared in front of her, looking at her in defeat. She knew that she hurt the girl's feelings, she was too harsh with her, even though Becky did nothing wrong.

After 15 minutes she calmed down a little, took a taxi and went home..

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Becky was still standing in the middle of the club, not understanding what just happened. One minute they were okay, dancing in each other's arms, and  in the next Freen was telling her not to touch her and stroming out of the club.

"I thought the attraction was mutual " she muttered. She was trying to understand what she did wrong? May be she overstepped, went to far kissing her neck? May be she misunderstood the signals? Or maybe... maybe Freen felt what's between her legs and panicked? The last one was a painful thought for her. Becky has always been bullied for being different. Growing up she learnt to shut her eyes on that kind of people who try to offend her with that fact. But Freen was different.. she felt it the moment she laid her eyes on her. How Freen looked at her with those big eyes, how she blushed, how her plump lips widened into a beautiful smile, how she smelled..

Shaking her head and taking a deep breath she left the center of the dance  floor and moved towards the bar. She needed a drink. 

"Where is Freen?" she suddenly heard a voice near her ear and imediately recognized it.

"She left, Nam" she calmly answered

"What? Why? What did you do?" Nam asked a little rudeness in her voice, trying to calm herself. Now she's worried about her friend.

"I didn't do anything.." Becky defended herself "I..i don't know.. we were dancing, everything was great, we were enjoying each other's company,  when suddenly.." she took a deep breath, calmling her nerves, her voice wavered from upcoming tears "she just distanced herself and shouted at me, telling me not to touch her.."

"That's all?" Nam clarified

"That's all" Becky answered in a small voice.

"And you did nothing you shouldn't?"

"Why are you saying this, Nam? Do you think I'm some horny bitch who is harassing girls in the club?" she said, clearly offended by Nams remark.

"I'm sorry,  Becca" Nam sighed "I'm just worried about her, you don't know..you don't understand..." she bit her lower lip "I need to find her, i have to go, bye" she finished, running away, leaving Becca in the dark once again.

"What is wrong with people today"  Becky thought, before swallowing a shot of tequila.

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Freen has always been an open minded person. And though she never had a relationship with a woman, never even kissed one in her life, still she was never denied a possibility of liking one. Yesterday's events proved it. She felt it the moment she saw Becky, though she's not completely a woman. But she wanted it..she wanted HER.. Though she panicked and run away, but still closing her eyes and remembering Becky's breath tickling her neck sent chills down her spine. What would've happened if she didn't run away? Would they kissed? She groaned in frustration. Will Becky forgive her for her behavior? Will she want to talk to her again? Her own thoughts seems desperate for her, but this is the first time in 4 years that she trully wanted someone's presence in her life, this is the first time she trully wanted someone. She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind.