Chapter 22

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Recap:

My mind was consumed with conflicting emotions. On one hand, I felt grateful for their love and support, but on the other hand, I couldn't ignore the pain and struggles I was facing. I felt trapped, torn between wanting to end my suffering through suicide and not wanting to hurt those who cared for me.

Lost in my thoughts, I continued to cry, feeling utterly helpless and uncertain about what to do next.

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Exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the night, I stumbled back to my room as the sun began to rise, casting its warm light through the windows. Collapsing onto my bed, I felt the weight of fatigue settling over me like a heavy blanket.

Despite the racing thoughts still swirling in my mind, sleep eventually claimed me, pulling me into its embrace. Unconsciousness offered a brief respite from the overwhelming emotions and difficult decisions that plagued me, if only for a few fleeting hours.

I woke up abruptly, jolted by the sensation of cold water splashing onto my face. Confusion clouded my mind as I sat up, trying to make sense of what was happening. As my vision cleared, I saw my mother standing before me, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Looks like you had a lot of fun while I was away for a month," she taunted, her words dripping with disdain. With a sharp sting, her hand collided with my cheek, and I recoiled from the force of the slap.

"Happy birthday to my daughter," she sneered, her tone filled with mockery. Anger flared within me, but I bit back the retort that threatened to spill from my lips.

"What is your problem?" I demanded, my voice trembling with a mixture of frustration and hurt. She seized my chin with a harsh grip, her nails digging into my skin.

"You are the problem," she spat, her eyes ablaze with resentment.

With my emotions reaching their boiling point, I couldn't hold back any longer. The words poured out of me in a torrent of frustration and pain.

"Why don't you love me?" I demanded, my voice trembling with emotion. "I'm your biological daughter, yet you treat me with such hatred. All I ever wanted was your love, but you've always failed to provide it. You were too busy with your own life after dad died. Do you even realize how much I needed you? I was suffering, mentally and physically, while you were off dating some guy."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I continued, the weight of years of neglect and loneliness bearing down on me. "I was bullied at school, and where were you? Nowhere to be found. You saw me as a spoiled daughter, but I had no friends, no one to turn to. I tried my best to earn your approval, always getting good grades just so you might notice me. But you never did. All I wanted was your love, is that too much to ask for?"

My mother's voice hitched, but she didn't show any emotions as she uttered, "You were never perfect for me to accept you as my daughter." Then, in an annoyed tone, she added, "Oh gosh, I hope you just die soon if you are suffering so much," before briskly exiting the room.

Tears streamed down my face as I cried uncontrollably. In that moment, one thing became clear: I knew I had to go through with suicide because it seemed like the only way to ease my suffering.

I then stood up from bed and freshened up. I changed my clothes and then went downstairs for breakfast.

What I wore ~

What I wore ~

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