Chapter 17

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Recap:

Seokjin's gentle voice broke through my thoughts, pulling my attention back to the present. "Y/N, if there's anything troubling you, talk to us, okay?" His words hung in the air, and I responded with a quiet hum, my gaze shifting to Yoongi. It was evident from his expression that he had shared with them the events of the previous night.

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Yoongi POV:

I was going to my room after dinner but I decided to check on Y/N before. Entering her room, I froze at the sight of her cutting her wrist, lost in her own torment. Panic surged through me as I dashed forward, knocking the blade from her trembling hand.

The room seemed to spin as a whirlwind of emotions swept over me - worry for her well-being, aching sadness at her pain, and a flicker of anger that she had resorted to self-harm. "What were you doing?" I choked out, my voice trembling with a blend of fear and frustration.

Tears welled up in my eyes as the gravity of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. Despite my best efforts to understand and support her, I had almost lost her to the darkness consuming her. Wrapping my arms around her trembling form, I held her close, desperate to shield her from the demons that plagued her mind.

In that moment, I felt like a failure as a brother, haunted by the fear of losing her and consumed by the guilt of not recognizing her pain sooner.

After brief talk with her, I then left her room as she wanted to sleep. I then went towards my room.

Sitting alone in my room, I couldn't shake the feeling of frustration and guilt that gnawed at me from within. 'How could I have missed the signs? How could I have failed to protect her from her own anguish? '

Tears welled up in my eyes as I buried my face in my hands, the weight of my inadequacy crushing me. Each sob that wracked my body felt like a damning indictment of my failure as a brother, a relentless reminder of my inability to shield her from the darkness that threatened to engulf her.

In that moment of despair, I cursed myself for not being more vigilant, for not being more attuned to her struggles, for not being there when she needed me the most.

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A/N POV:

The next morning, everyone gathered at the dining table for breakfast. The Kim brothers ate in silence until Yoongi broke the somber atmosphere by announcing, "I need to tell you all something." Seokjin encouraged him to continue, saying, "Yes, Yoongi, tell us what's on your mind."

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi revealed, "It's about Y/N. Actually, when I went to her room, I saw her... I saw her cutting her wrist, but I stopped her." The brothers were stunned into silence, unable to comprehend Yoongi's words.

Jungkook voiced his disbelief, questioning, "Hyung, what are you even saying?" Taehyung's shock was evident as he exclaimed, "She was doing suicide? What?"

Namjoon chimed in, "We should keep a close watch on her." Hoseok agreed, adding, "She needs our support." Jimin remained silent, still processing the gravity of the situation. Seokjin emphasized, "This is a serious matter. I can't bear to lose her. Let's treat her with utmost care and compassion."

Everyone nodded in agreement, and they resumed their breakfast. Shortly after, Y/N joined them at the table, quietly scrolling through her phone. Once the brothers finished eating, she left for school accompanied by Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook.

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Y/N POV:

I arrived at school and entered my classroom, greeted by curious stares from my classmates. I calmly took my seat, feeling their eyes on me. A few girls approached me, their faces beaming with excitement. "Y/N, do you know?" one of them exclaimed. Another added, "You topped the class in the exam! You scored 100 out of 100!"

They showered me with congratulations, expressing admiration. I quietly thanked them, feeling a mixture of surprise and gratitude. As they returned to their seats, I reflected on the unexpected news.

Han Seojun, the former top student of the class, approached me with a bashful smile. "Congratulations, Y/N," he said, clearly impressed. "I never expected anyone to surpass me." I responded with a sigh, expressing my remorse. "Thank you," I replied, my tone devoid of emotion.

"I'm sorry if my success affected you. I'll try not to outshine you next time." He quickly shook his head, denying my assumption. "No, that's not what I meant," he protested. "I'm genuinely happy to see someone more capable than me." I offered a noncommittal hum in response.

After scratching the back of his head nervously, he said, "Um I'll go back to my seat I guess." I nodded without looking at him and continued to stare out the window, lost in my own thoughts, while he left.

Time skip ~

During the lunch break, I made my way to my locker and retrieved my banana milk. Though I considered grabbing my book, the exhaustion weighed heavily on me, dissuading me from any further activity. I returned to my classroom where a few students remained. Settling into my desk, I sipped my banana milk while staring vacantly out of the window, lost in my own thoughts.

As I sat lost in my thoughts, the unexpected presence beside me startled me. I looked up and saw Han Seojun standing there, his demeanor hesitant and uncertain.

He said, "Hey Y/N can I sit here?" I blankly stared at him and nodded, then looked away. After a few minutes of silence, he asked, "Y/N can I see your notes?"

I handed him my notes without a word, still gazing out the window. I heard him saying, "Your notes are pretty and well-organized," but I remained silent.

Then he said, "Um Y/N?" I just hummed. He continued, "Can I sit with you like every day? I mean we can study together as well? And also you don't have a desk partner so...."

I looked at him with no expression on my face and said, "No need." I sighed and added, "Look I don't want to be mean but it would be better for you to stay away from me. Cause I don't think I'll stay alive any longer."

He was confused and said, "What do you mean by that? Are you okay? Do you have cancer or something?" When I heard him mention cancer, I couldn't help but giggle a bit, then quickly composed myself and made a straight face.

"No. It's just nothing. But don't come to me. You will only end up being hurt," I said firmly. Before he could respond, the bell rang, and he went back to his seat.

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The school day had ended, and I found myself standing outside the school gates, waiting for my brothers' car to arrive. When it pulled up, I sat in the back with Jimin while Taehyung drove and Jungkook sat beside him. Taehyung turned to me with a smile and asked, "Y/N, how was your day?"

I replied quietly, "It was fine." Then Taehyung continued, "What about your exam score? I heard the results are out." Jungkook chimed in, "You did pass, right?" I simply nodded in response.

Jimin then spoke up, "Let's celebrate because our baby girl passed her exam!" I stared at him blankly and retorted, "You're silly, oppa. You don't even know my score, and you want to celebrate just because I passed?" Jimin chuckled and playfully wrapped his arm around my neck, ruffling my hair. "So what, huh?" he teased. "Let's get some ice cream."

Jungkook chimed in, "Hyung, I love you," and responded with a playful flying kiss to Jimin. Taehyung laughed and agreed, "Ice cream it is then." As I processed their kindness, I couldn't shake the feeling that it was all out of pity. Yoongi must have told them about my suicide attempt, and now they were treating me differently. But deep down, I knew it didn't matter anymore, because I didn't plan to stay alive much longer.

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