The Royal Promise

Her Grief

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Arjun Singh Raghuvanshi

I don't believe in people.
They are fragile,emotionally unstable,prone to make mistakes,no discipline,no morals, slaved infront of unseen thing called love,always taking chance,useless baggage on earth. They are not worth of me. They can't know me as i truly am.

I learnt to control my feelings, mask my reactions,and i don't let people in my close circle ever. My family is tied with me till eternity so i can't possibly keep them away. But even they are not allowed to be close to me. I shut myself away from everything and everyone i love eight years ago and completely locked myself away behind the huge rock but everything is crumbling, shaking.

I just lost sense my emotions and feelings after a tragic accident eight years ago but now,as if my heart took rebirth, it's slowly started developing emotions again,started feeling again. I am not clinically tested anti social person,or i lack empathy but i grew into it. I was just breathing stone for years and now i am starting to feel tiny little burst of emotions, feelings and that's all happening because of Bhanu. Because of her i smiled after years. She bought my smile back and i hate it. I hate it because i like it.

When i saw her in my room,on my bed waiting for me,my body roared into awakening sense. When she saw me with her beautiful, big eyes all i wanted was to wrap my hands around her nape and claim her beautiful,lips,bite her,mark her. She was mine from her birth,it was my right. Today i am supposed to break my celibacy and stake claim on my wife. And i can do that as she's already in love with me but i couldn't bring myself. Because of this damn feelings for her. I got afraid that if i grow attached to her,will she also leave me. Will Bhanu also be taken away from me. For just being my wife. Moreover i didn't wanted to hurt her.

Parth watched me for a moment before speaking his tone slightly amused "Is that it? But why do i feel like right now at this moment you are acting to prove me that you don't have feelings for Bhanu,that you don't like her,you don't care for her, you don't want her, you don't want her as your wife,you didn't decided to start a new life with her like you promised your mother,are you sure that you are saying this to me and you are not chanting it to yourself, reminding yourself that she's just a promise so that you will stop craving her"he smiles like cat who catched it's prey.

"Shut up,it's just an empty promise that i gave to maa for her reassurance "my stomach hollowed like Parth's words had sucked all air out of it.
"Really?"he asks in amusement.
"Ofcourse then what do you think?"i snapped to hide my emotions which are threatening to come to surface.

"Cut the crap Arjun. Don't try to sell me this bullshit which i will never buy. You are the king of Rajgarh and do you want me to honestly believe that you got threatened by dadisa that you have to give up throne if don't get married? You can deceive your family, Bhanu and her family but not me. I have been with you from childhood,we learnt how to ride a bicycle together,we learnt horse riding together, we learnt to paly chess together,i have been there when you started control your feelings,mask your emotions,i have been there when you shut yourself away from this world and your family in the fear of loosing them. That's what you are doing now with Bhanu. I have seen you loosing your cool very few times one, when you got to know about me and my wife who happened to be your sister" he forces the word wife "second when this alliance was forced on you,third when vermas arrived here,fourth is now,when you uttered all those nonsense that you don't want Bhanu, she was just promise blah fucking blah.... if that's the case and you actually didn't liked her,you would have said it in your collected, authoritative tone but no you shouted ,bursted in anger and you would definitely wouldn't be here drinking and playing chess like old geezer...i figured you out" he smiles in triumph. Goddamn it ,that's why i came out of room where i couldn't control my feelings, but here this asshole came and discovered my actual intention. My emotions surfaced and it's difficult to mask it now atleast infront of Parth.