Kitten, Zed, and the Things Left Unsaid

#1 Left Unsaid: PRESENT

KITTEN

My eyes fluttered open when I felt the burning sensation of the sunlight directly hitting my eyelids.

"Ouch!" I hissed and immediately covered my eyes. I felt his soft moan beside me, as if an unconscious response. My body stiffened. Even if I don't touch my body right now, I know that I'm naked. I can definitely feel it-and his warm, naked limbs wrapping around me.

Parang kumulo ang tyan ko. What is happening here? I couldn't even begin to look at the perfect creature right beside me... whose body I forever longed wrapped exactly like this around my body.

What happened last night?! Was I too drunk to have let this mistake happen? My heart sunk into the abyss as I pushed myself to look at my right side. Zed was sleeping peacefully; his arms wrapped around my shoulders, his chin resting on the top of my head. Exactly as I dreamt when I was younger.

I stared at his serene face. The face that will never be mine. My heart ached for the tragic story of my love life. He'll never be mine.

The long, thick lashes he has that always got me wanting to kiss, to feel.

The tall nose.

The curly long hair.

His chin that I want to bite forever.

His lips that I will never leave once I put mine onto it.

Such fantasy.

"Morning, babe." he suddenly whispered, which pulled me back to reality. His breathing was heavy. He got me all frozen. He thought I was his boyfriend! His shaft was standing still as if ready to greet me as well. He thrusted it onto my hips as if planning to continue where we left off last night. I froze some more!

As if he felt weirded out by my response, his thick, long lashes fluttered. Agad namilog ang mga mata niya nang makita ako sa tabi. Na tila ba alam na niya agad kung anong nangyari.

Naitulak ako ni Zed sa gulat at agad siyang tumalon pababa sa kama. Halos matumba siya sa pag-atras hanggang sa makasandal ang likod niya sa pader ng kuwarto.

"What the fuck, Kitten?!" he shouted at me. His face was so red as if he suddenly got sick of what he witnessed-or mad, raging mad. As he should be.

I was in shock that I didn't know what to say or do or where to look at. His shaft was standing so still that my eyes were being drawn in that direction. He has an erection! And it's because of me?! I don't know what to think!

"Fuck!" Napasigaw siya ulit at saka nilamukot ang kaniyang mukha bago siya nanakbo parang damputin lahat ng gamit niya sa sahig. "Katherine?!" galit na sigaw niya sa pangalan ko, na tila ba hindi niya alam ang sasabihin sa akin pero galit siya. Galit na galit. Grabe ang lukot ng mukha niya na tila ba sukang-suka sa akin... sa ginawa namin.

Nagsimulang manginig ang mga labi ko, at unti-unti na ngang nagbagsakan ang mga nagbabadyang luha. "You don't have to look so disgusted!" I shouted at him and began to cry.

"Putangina!" Naisigaw na lang muli niya sa sarili bago ako inilingan. The look of disappointment, of disgust, of betrayal was clearly seen in his eyes.

"What? You didn't like it?! It clearly wasn't the case when you have that stupid erection!!" Hinugot ko lahat ng lakas ko sa pagsigaw ng mga salitang iyon. Na tila ba hindi na ako makapagsasalita ulit. Lahat ng mga ugat ko sa leeg ay naglabasan para tulungang akong iparating sa kaniya ang mga salita ko.

His eyes bulged at the words I threw at him. "Bitch!" he shouted as he struggled to put his pants on before he stormed out of my room. He was so mad-he was so mad like I committed the gravest sin of all.

And I was mad too.

I was madly in love with him.

And all I can do is cry the whole day, because I know he'll never be mine.