Consumed in thoughts of Radha, his heart bound by the chain of her love, Krishna, felt the same turmoil that Radha was experiencing in their separation. Despite the beautiful braja-gopis being ready to serve him, he became indifferent to their offerings.
The knowledge that his beloved Radha was nearby but out of sight only deepened his despair. He left behind all the other beautiful maidens and went to search for her.
In vain, he searched every nook and cranny for his Radhika, his weary mind pierced by Kaamdev's arrows. He scoured one kunj after another, his desperation growing with each passing moment. After searching extensively, he was seized by hopelessness and about to give up. Regretting having neglected her, he entered a secluded kunj by the Yamuna and lamented.
"Radha ! O Radha !" He cried, "Mai jaanta hu virah ki vedna jo mujhe hi rahi hai, woh tumhe bhi ho rahi hogi. Radhey ! Mere samaksh aao !"
He realised how much anxiety and distress she must be going through ! And how his blunder has the cause of this pain and suffering. His mind dwelled on her face, that had become as red as a red lotus in anger.
Krishna wondered where he should look for her ? Vrindavan seemed extremely vast to him now. But then he realised that Radha dwells forever in the temple of his heart, where he holds her in a tight embrace.
Caressing his heart he asked, "Radhey, mujhse krodhit hoke tum chali gayi. Batao na, mai kaise tumse kshama maangu ?"
He looked around the kunj, the flowers, the bees, the breeze, everything reminded him of her. "Radhey ? Radha !" He called out to them, thinking she was actually in front of him.
Indeed, when a man separated from his beloved is drowning in the depths of despair, his reverie on her becomes so intense that it seems as if she is actually with him.
"O Kaamdev ! O Kandarpa !" Krishna stood up and looked around, "Tum mujhe par aise prahar kyu kar rahe ho jaise mai Mahadev hu aur tum apna pratishod lena chaahte ho ? Shiv toh kailash par apni patni Parvati ke saath sukhi hai. Mai yaha Radha ke virah mei dukhi hu. Mujhe tang na karo, Ananga !"
Lovesick in separation from Radha, Krishna was thus sitting in a kunja on the bank of the Yamuna, wallowing in
sadness and lamenting.
On the other side Radha too was suffering from the pangs of separation and anger, while lying in a bhavan. Afraid of Kaamdev’s arrows, she has absorbed herself in meditation of her beloved. Just as a person who is afraid of being shot by arrows runs to take shelter in someone else to save his life, similarly she has taken shelter in Krishna's thoughts.
But in his absence, Radha rebukes the sandalwood paste smeared on her body; rather than soothing her, it seems to have set her body on fire. Even the cooling rays of the moon, igniting the fire of her desires, set her heart ablaze. And for her the Malayan breeze has turned into poison from the breathing of the venomous snakes who wind around the chandan trees of the Malaya Hills.
A barrage of Kaamdev’s arrows was ceaselessly falling upon her heart. Because Krishna was enshrined in its tender core, she was attempting to protect him there by covering it with a mystical shield of large moist lotus.
A steady stream of tears flows from the restless eyes of her lotus face, just as ambrosia streams from the moon after being bitten by Rahu’s dreadful fangs.
"O Krishna," She sobbed, "O Nath, mujhse yu mukh na fero."
Intently meditating on Krishna, she imagines that he has appeared before her. Sometimes she laments in separation, and the next moment she joyfully laughs. Sometimes she cries and sometimes, receiving his embrace in a vision, she abandons all suffering.
The bhavan has transformed into a wild jungle, her circle of friends the hunter’s net. Her sighs of pain fan the flames blazing within. In separation from him, she has become like a frightened doe. While Kaamdev, playing just like a tiger, has become death personified threatening her very life.
"Hari... Hari...." She chants senselessly as her lotus eyes glance in all directions, scattering the rain of her tears like water-drops from flowers of lotus broken off their stems.
Lalita couldn't take this anymore, "Mujhe Krishna ke paas jana hi hoga." She says and leaves.
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A/N
This Maan leela is taken from Jayadev's Geet Govindam. And he has beautifully described their separation, that I cannot help but just directly put it here, it's so good 🙏✨
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HARIHARESHWARI 15 : Namami Braj Nayakam
Historical FictionAmarsri is spellbound, Srinav is mesmerized. The gods and goddesses are charmed, while the humans are bewitched. The animals are enthralled, birds are enraptured, and the trees are captivated. And who wouldn't be? For the supreme God himself has des...
