The courting trap

Pinky Promise

I didn't even see it coming when two strong hands grabbed my wrists and my back hits the matrass, he hovers over me, the dagger leaving my grasp and now in his hold. His eyes dark in fury. Just like that I am powerless again.

/// Nicholas ///

I was peacefully asleep when I felt something dripping on my stomach, the first drop I thought I was just imagining it, but by the second drop I knew it was real.

I opened my eyes slowly, it looked like there was an object in front of me, but my eyes weren't adjusted to the dark yet. Once they did I realised it was Victoria, what is she doing?

It's then that I see something pointed at my chest, a dagger. In a reflex reaction, I grab her slender wrists together in one of my hands, at the same time I flip her over so she's on her back and I am the one hoovering over her instead. Dumbstruck her big brown eyes stare up at me, they almost make her look innocent even though she just tried to kill me in my sleep.

I rip the dagger from her grip. I shake in fury as I inspect it, this could have been between my ribs by now if I hadn't woken up.

"Nicholas..." She says with a small, breathy voice.

My teeth are clenched together so hard I can't reply. "Nicholas please, I'm so sorry." She pleaded, trying to squirm her wrists free. "Shut up!" I snap. I align the dagger with her chin, she lifts her head up in response. "You really thought that would work?" When she doesn't reply I push the weapon against her chin harder, but not hard enough to draw blood. "Hmm?" I hum.

"No!" Tears roll down her face. "I'm sorry."

She is so fragile now as her small frame is trapped underneath mine, she is wearing a white nightgown that would stain red so easily, and her hair fans in long dark waves across her pillow. She almost looks angelic. I drag the dagger from her chin down her neck, it pulling down the neckline of her gown as I go lower. "Stop." She whimpers.

Suddenly it all starts feeling wrong, the way I'm holding her against her will, the tears rolling down her face, the weapon in my hands. I feel repulsed by myself that it even got to this point. I throw the dagger across the room and let her wrists go.

She shoots upright, I get pushed backwards in the process and catch myself with my hands.

She visibly shakes as she grabs a fist full of her hair. we stare at each other in silence as the only sound is our heavy breathing. Both appalled of what we almost did to one another.

It suddenly feels like I'm burning up, I am half naked it feels too hot in this room.

I need fresh air. My breath hitches in my throat every time I breathe in.

I hold a hand over my heart when I feel a sharp pain in my chest. It feels as if I might be having a heart attack.

When I meet her eyes you could almost say she looks worried, she's speaking but the words get drowned out by the loud ringing in my ears.

I need to get away. I crawl out of bed, but trip over one of the bed posts and land roughly on the cold wooden floor, stomach first. I suddenly have no strength in my body to pull myself up, so I stay on the ground.

A hand is placed between my shoulder plates, she's shaking my trying to get my attention, but I am too focused on controlling my breathing. It feels as if the air is too thick to get into my lungs.

Wheezing, I push the hair out of my face and when I look back my hand is drenched in sweat.

Then a cold liquid is thrown on top of me and I instantly snap out of it. I push my self upright, gasping for air as I look at the pool of water right where I just was.

Victoria is holding a fase, roses thrown on the ground next to her. "I need air." My hoarse voice croaks out.

She grabs my hand, walking backwards to pull me up. She opens the balcony doors and helps me sit down in one of the two chairs. She sits down in the other one. I throw my head back, feeling the cool air fill my airways, which calms me down no end. "Why are you helping me?" I question without looking at her.

"I know how it feels." I turn to look at her and she's staring at the gardens. Cricket chirp in the darkness. 

"I think I was having a heart attack."

"You were having a panic attack." She replies almost simultaneously, like she knew what I was going to say. "Ever had one of those?"

"No." I cross my arms to cover my bare skin, the air feels frigid now instead of cool.

She now turns to look at me. "Is it always going to be like this?" I can see in her eyes she would not survive a life like that, it would absolutely ruin her. She looks so helpless.

I ponder on her words. "I wish I knew." Truth is, I hate her. I just don't hate her enough to ruin my life in the process of ruining hers.

"Could we make a promise?" She sounds sincere and vulnerable. She stands up and stops right in front of my feet.

"Depends on what the promise is." I look up at her, the wind blows in her hair and reminds me how I can't deny the fact she is absolutely gorgeous.

"I apologise for attacking you, I felt very hopeless today and it almost felt like the only solution, I realised that would only end up in making me more trapped and on top of that I would never be able to live with myself again. Let's promise each other, we won't try to bring the other in physical danger. We can hate each other all we want, but I wouldn't wish to life the rest of my life constantly checking my back or sleeping with one eye open at night. So please, we owe at least this much to each other." Her desperate eyes plead me as she reaches out her pinky.

There is some truth in her words. That's not how I envisioned living the rest of my days either, but I believe in treating people how they treat you. So this fully depends on her behaviour. "What are you doing." I look at her hand with confusion.

"A pinky promise, hold out your pink." She grabs my hand and pulls my pinky out of my tightly closed fist for me. "Like this." She wraps hers around mine, I return the gesture. "I promise." She smiles.

"I promise." I repeat after her as I am holding her hand, which feels familiar. When she lets go, my hand instantly misses the warmth. I linger in the silence as I hold her gaze, she doesn't realise how much power she really has over me.

She reads my mind when she says "Alright, we should head back to bed." And she turns around and leaves me alone on the balcony with my thoughts.