Don't Say Forever

Chapter 1

Janis Imi'ike was obsessed with death. 

When she was two years old her favorite toy was a Marie Antoinette doll with a retractable head that could snap off and click back on. Her dad brought it home for her from a pawnshop. Her mom kicked her dad out two weeks later.

When Janis turned 4 her favorite movie was "The autopsy of Jane Doe." With her mom at work she couldn't stop the toddler from TV. So Janis got very used to it fast.

At 7, Janis was forced to sit by her dead mother in a car for 4 hours while the firefighters worked to free them. 

At 9, Janis moved in with her only living grandma and dad. Her dad showed her what pain really felt like. She cried. 

On her 10th birthday, Janis made a wish on her cake. Her dad had a heart attack and died that night.

Although Janis already had been through so much. The universe decided to give one more fuck you. Her grandma and last living relative committed suicide.

At 13 Janis was drawing. She drew crime scene photos. Any body in any shape. Most of them consisted of red. 

Regina George was an angel to Janis, she was her best friend. When Janis's foster dad had too much to drink, she stayed with the George's. She loved Regina. She thought Regina loved her.

Someone got a hold of her notebook. Ripped out a paper. 

Shouted "Creep drawing bodies." The chanted and spun around her as she dropped to her knees and stared at the ripped up papers. Regina punched the boy in his face. Hugged Janis tight and promised she would never let her go.

Regina let Janis go. She kissed her. Called her a slur. Watched as she ran from the house and into the night. 

When Janis turned 14 her new foster mother sent her to a physc ward. Said she had been talking crazy. She was worried. Janis was there for 4 months. It didn't help.

Janis made a friend, Damian. He was big and gave good hugs. She called him a teddy bear. She felt better. 

Homeschooled she sat at her kitchen table and watched as her new foster father made pancakes. He got mad. Why can't you be normal. Go back to school. He threw the pan. It hit her cheek. With a black eye and a welted  burn on her cheek. She started freshman year three months late. 

As Janis went from placement to placement she wondered why no one wanted to keep her. Pass her along like a hot potato. Yet she was always the one being burned.

Through everything and every death and tragedy Janis had never once considered her own death. Now as her social worker told her, what her new placement would be. She wondered how it would feel to place the noose around her neck.

                                                                                                  ***

With a heave, the short teen threw her duffel over her shoulder. She could hear Melinda talking behind her. Blah Blah Blah. New Family. They are kind. Yeah right. Please give this one a chance. Janis stared up at the mansion and the many jeeps in front of it. She wondered if Melinda knew what the new placements daughter was like. 

"Janis are you listening to me" Melina pressed, placing a hand on her shoulder. Janis shook it off.

"Don't touch me" Janis spat. Melinda sighed and smoothed her penny skirt out. She walked forward and knocked on the door. Janis wished she could run.

The door opened and the Man standing there smiled softly before letting the two enter. He called for his wife. Janis counted the tiles in the foyer.

She got to 346 before the blonde lady called her name. 

"Janis, Honey we are just so excited to have you with us. Regina will be so pleased. We've missed you darling" June said pushing a strand of hair behind Janis ear. It caught on her hoop and Janis resisted the urge to yelp. Melinda nodded at her. Approval. Oh goody maybe she'll get a sticker.

"Mother, you really should close the back door, looks like another stray got in" The lion snarled. Her mane shaking as wind came out of nowhere. Her perfectly strapped heels clattered as she walked down the stairs.

"Regina, You crack me up! This is Janis, remember. The reason we got foster tested in the first place!"

Regina smirked. Looking Janis up and down. Janis suddenly felt very insecure of her oversized cargo jacket. She wrapped it around herself and glared at the tall girl.

"I remember Janis. I remember her well." 

Melinda coughed awkwardly and started towards Janis.

"Well I'll be off, call me if you need anything. Which I doubt you will with these nice folks" June laughed obnoxiously. Melinda reached for the curly headed girl but then backed away. 

"Right, no hugs, got it" Melinda said, nodding for confirmation. She gave them a wave before closing the door behind her.

Janis jumped as June clapped. Regina have her a look. She tried her hardest to ignore it.

"Right well, Regina, show Janis to her room would you. I'll make snacks" The older lady said with a shimmy. Her husband left with her. Leaving Regina and Janis. Regina looked her up and down again. As if she hadn't gotten a good look already. 

"Follow me" She said with a sigh starting up the stairs as if the very action was killing her. Janis wished it would.

Once she got safely in the guest bedroom she would now be calling home, she slammed the door once the queen bee left. Threw her duffle on her bed. And sat.

She stared at the unfamiliar popcorn ceiling. Before she remembered her phone. Pulling it out she saw the multiple texts she was missing from damian.

She let out a small giggle then slammed her hand over her mouth and hoped no one heard it. She texted him back, listening to how her fingernails clicking was the only sound in the entire room. It felt empty.

Janis smiled as she send the last text. She hoped to see Damian soon, he could make her feel better no matter what. Janis let out a yawn as she placed her phone on the charger. It has been a long day. Maybe she could take a nap before dinner. And maybe even...

She didn't finish her thought before she let herself fall asleep.