give me something to hold on to

eepy

Spencer rubs his eye again and this time it catches the older profilers eye. "Reid, is there something wrong with your eye?" Spencer squirms in his seat and shakes his head. Hotch catches his nervousness. "Can you tell me what's wrong with it? I won't be mad." The younger's eyes flick up to meet his.

"S'eepy" his eyes flit back down. "sowwy" its barely audible but Hotch catches it.

"Why are you sorry, Buddy?" he asks with a tilt of his head.

"'cus I'm 'posta be wokin. I- I can wok."

The boy's statement hurts the adults' hearts. Even in such an innocent state he's worried about his job. They unanimously decide to help Spencer forget about all his big kid worries. But first things first. If the boy is tired, he's going to sleep.

"Guess what, Spencer? You finished all your work, so you get the rest of the day off!" JJ exclaims excitedly to the little. His eyes light up under sleep heavy eyelids.

"Do?" a yawn breaks through his plead for reassurance. It's clear the boy did not sleep the night before, perhaps even in a few days.

"Spencer, I have some things for you if you would like them." Hotch leans down to open one of the bottom drawers on his desk. He pulls out a few items Spencer can't see from where he sits.

"presen's?" he perks up.

"Thats right! presents!" JJ says all excited like making Reid flap his hands in his own excitement.

"Me see?"

Hotch places the things slowly in front of spencer on the desk. There's a stuffed dinosaur that- upon being picked up by Spencer- is discovered to be weighted. He gasps "Look Jayjee, is a triceratops" he sets the stuffie in his lap and moves on to the next item: a blue and green sippy cup. "For juice? Jayjee can have juice?" The plush quickly forgotten on account of a new treat.

"In a minute, bud."

Finally, he discovers the last item: a three pack of pacifiers. Oh. That grounds Spencer and makes the fog draw back if ever slightly. The always-talking-never-shuts-up boy quiets. Concern forms in the two adults. Had they pushed it too far?

Hotch and JJ share a look. The latter is the first to speak up. "What's wrong, kiddo?" Spencer breaks the death stare he has on the item to look up at Jenefer. There are fresh tears on his waterline. He mumbles something unintelligible. "Can you say that again for me?" he rubs his eye in response.

"Mm no' a baby..." he seems torn, devastated that his friends would think of him that way.

"We know that, Reid. You don't have to use them if you don't want to. I already had them in my desk. No one is accusing you of being any smaller than you are." Hotch steps in to address his worries. But at the same time, he notes how the boy's eyes linger on the bright packaging. Something dawns on him in that moment: does spencer not have supplies at home?

First things first. He shares a look with Jenefer and hopes she gets the queue. It would seem she understood correctly because she sneaks behind spencer and slowly opens the door. She gives one last nod to Hotch before shutting the door with a click. Now for the hard part.

"Spencer, can I ask you a question and you be completely honest with me?" Terse and to the point has always been Aaron's preferred method of communication. Though, he's aware that the kid is just- well, a kid.

The boy nods in response, an open expression and so trusting. Hotch thinks he's never seen Reid so relaxed. The thought saddens him.

"Do you have little gear at home?" he asks after a moment of debating the phrasing of the question. It wouldn't necessarily be unusual for him not to have much gear, seeing as he has the headspace of a toddler. But something about Spencer makes Hotch think that if he were more comfortable, he would be a lot smaller.

The little looks up in something akin to surprise. Why would his boss care if he has toys at home? Regardless of his confusion, he nods his head. "Yesh, have Bubby! He's da best. Is a din'sour."

Spencer expected the man to be happy with his answer. He obviously wanted the answer to be yes- so why is his face turning sour? His comforting, soft smile turning into a thin line. It makes Spencer fidget in his seat uneasily.

"Is he the only thing you have?" concern has risen inside of hotch like a burning in his chest. He usually only feels like this when something is wrong with Jack. It's such a unique parental feeling, experiencing it here catches him off guard.

Reid nods again, this time more hesitant. He doesn't want to be in trouble.

"Reid, how long have you been regressing? You should have more than just a stuffed animal. You don't have sippy cups or pacifiers...?" He stops his little rant when he sees that tears have reemerged in the boy's eyes. He softens his voice and neutralizes his expression. "I'm sorry, you aren't in trouble, buddy. Not at all."