give me something to hold on to

not mad?

As JJ knocks on the door, Spencer starts to shake. He's terrified. The small part of his brain that won't let him fully let go of his problems screams at him. What if Hotch kicks him off the team? Spencer shuffles his form behind the older agent, hiding himself from view. Well, as much as he could, being nearly a foot taller. He tugs gently on the back of JJ's sweater to get her attention. "JayJee? I no wanna..." He accentuates his discomfort by jutting out his bottom lip in a pout.

"Oh, baby, I know. But Hotch is going to be nice. He has some special presents for you! And I pinky promise that if you talk to Hotch, I'll get you Jello!" She does jazz hands at the revelation of his favorite snack. Terror changes to excitement so fast it nearly gives the older agent whiplash. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet and flapping his hands excitedly. "I know, right? Exciting! Now we've got to see Hotch, okay?" Earlier tears forgotten he manages to look super serious in a goofy kid way, and nods. JJ pushes open the heavy black door. Spencer is back to hiding behind her but appears to be slightly more confident, as if he's on a mission.

Hotch glances up from his desk at the welcome intruders. He notices Spencer's odd demeanor at once. In another moment, he understands what is going on. You see a few thing in his line of work. Age regression being one of them. "Hello, Spencer." He smiles lightly in a way he only does with Jack. Spencer hesitantly waves to his superior.

"Spencer accidentally regressed while finishing some reports." JJ explains as if it's a normal thing. As if he isn't mortified. Hotch closed the file on his desk to give the boy his full attention.

"Is that right, Spencer?" He was trying to judge the boy's mental age. He was at the greatest a toddler, perhaps somewhere between the ages of 3 and 5.

The little whines in response, hiding himself further behind Jenifer. He brings a thumb up to his mouth, resting it on his lips. Not quite putting it in his mouth, but rather just letting it sit there. Some voice in the back of his head whispers to him 'you should be ashamed'. Tears begin to well again. "N-no..." a closed fist raises to rub at his blurry eyes. "Mm not."

JJ tsks and Spencer looks up at her. He didn't mean to make her angry. Spencer hates it when people are angry with him. Anger means punishment and punishment means hurt. Spencer doesn't like hurt. Tears come faster. JJ wouldn't hurt him, right? She's his ma- his friend.

"P'ease no mad. Pwease..." the boy trails off looking down at his feet. The two older agents hearts break at the sight of the pitiful boy. JJ kneels down facing the boy genius.

"Baby, no one is going to be mad at you for this. No one is angry, okay?" Hotch hums his agreement from his desk, brow creased worriedly. "Now, let's dry those tears, yes?"

After wiping away the tear tracks from his innocent face, she has him take a seat in front of the unit chief's desk. The chair is soft leather. Spencer likes leather, it reminds him of the old books his mother used to read to him when he was a boy. He's back to rocking now that he's more relaxed and seated. Hotch smiles at his curious demeanor. The younger looks around the room as if he's never seen it before. He hasn't, Hotch supposes, seen it through regressed eyes.

"Spencer..." His superior starts slowly. "How old are you right now?" This catches the boys attention. He bounces in his seat excited that he knows the answer.

"24!" Hotch sighs at the kids literal answer. He supposes he should have expected the genius to take the question at face value, especially in his state.

"Thats right!" he praises with a gentle smile "but that's not exactly what I meant... how old are you feeling?" Spencer's eyes narrow and his gaze falls to his hands fidgeting in his lap.

"No wan- no wanna say." Jennifer, who had been standing quietly so as not to be a distraction to the boy, steps in to offer reassurance.

"Remember what I told you? No one will be mad at you. Everyone here understands." The boy sticks out his bottom lip in a slight pout.

"pmomise?" the other occupants of the office coo at his slurred R's.

"I promise, kiddo."

"Mm feewin' not 24..." Hotch nods silently spurring on the boy. "Me is feelin'- um feewin' this much" he holds up four fingers, hesitates, and then puts a finger down.

"Wow! That many?" JJ feigns surprise. He nods shyly, with a nervous smile on his face.