Don't Change Yourself

The summer of 2015

        It was the last day of school for my freshman year. I was so happy to get away from that place. I hate school. It is like jail, but you learn boring, not fun stuff, and you have to sit almost all day long. Anyway, it was a half hour before school was finally out. I wanted to get out so badly that when that bell rang, I jumped out of my seat, and dashed to my locker. I got my stuff out and said goodbye to all of my friends. I miss them already, and it has been only 3 weeks since school went out. I will admit that I have missed them, but I had a boyfriend that loved me for who I am, and that's all I need. It was the last week of june, and I had a major meltdown, that I cut my arm even more, and punched a hole in the wall. My mom was upset with me because I didn't go to her for any talking to, and since I didn't go to her, I went to the Kettering Hospital, and was on lockdown and watched, and met 3 new friends, and learned how to cope with my random meltdowns, and I feel better.Every Monday, I go to see A therapist to help me, and it is working majorly well. I was at Kettering for about a week, and I met Alanna Fleming, Dakota Crouch, and Andan Staples. They are my best friends, and they had not the same problems, but the same feelings that I did when I was there.I was not scared to talk to them about my feelings or anything when I was there. I learned many coping skills there, and they help me today, and days to come. 

 Tarryn, one of the main nurses that was 'stuck' with us all day, was doing a group activity with us about how to react to our urges to what we want to do, but yet we don't. She was amazing. Tarryn's personality reminded me of my sister Mary. I missed Mary when I was there. I could never stop thinking about her. You see, we had a big twist in our life close to the end of school. We were dating these two boys who happen to be brothers, and The one I was dating was not the kind of guy that I wanted to date. I got blinded more than once in our many attempts to date, and I didn't know that he was also his brother. So apparently, Mary and I were dating a 'male slut', and so I left him, and Mary got both of them to herself. They changed the Mary I once knew into some person I didn't even know*.  I felt like a total jerk when I let them just change my sister like that. I regret every single passing minute, and I just wish I could go back to the beginning of the summer and save both of us from ever knowing them and getting involved in their shit.

*- You can read my sister's side of the story in her book 'Starting Over' by prettygurlswag017. She is the best sister that I can ever have. Love you, Sissy