Finding Hearts

Chapter 8

CALLUM

My body feels sore as I walk out of the gym and to my car, ready for a long cold shower and my bed. I really did work my body harder than ever today. After the jog in the morning, then hockey training and one-to-one with Henry, then a few hours spent at the gym, I can't say I feel the different parts anymore. Everything is either tensed or hurting.

Yet I needed this. The pain is a distraction from Kate's dismissal earlier.

I can't date you, Callum. I'm sorry.

Her voice returns in my head, fucking up with my senses. I suddenly feel the need to throw up or simply close my eyes and make myself believe it was all just a nightmare.

Yet as the universe ain't working on my side lately, as I head over to my car I notice Julia leaning on it, her face glowing with a smirk as she sees me and does a small wave. Fuck, today is Friday. Meaning today we were going to meet up.

I completely forgot.

"Hello, Julia", I let out, not wanting to deal with this right now.

She only smirks brighter, wanting to kiss me as greeting. I stop her midway by putting a hand over her lips.

"Callum", she whispers, her black hair falling in waves, strands covering her big green eyes. She's wearing a small skirt that reveals too much, so does her bra. She knows what she came here for. What she always comes here for.

"Julia", I whisper back, not knowing how to say it. "I'm sorry."

She doesn't have to hear more to figure it out. Her eyes suddenly heated with anger, as she takes a step back. "Are you kidding me?! Are you breaking up with me?"

"We were never together", I try to calm this situation down.

"We had sex, Callum. That is supposed to mean something", she bites back.

"You were hooking up with Brandon Vancouver and Val Listen at the same time", I counter. "We were never a thing. We were never exclusive."

"Did you ask me if I wanted us to be exclusive?", she wants to play the victim.

Only she chose the wrong cards. "Yes, I did. To which you said no, and that you're only here for the fun. I said I was the same, and then we made out. I don't remember us getting together or something like that."

"Then why are you breaking up with me right now?!", she continues shouting. "I thought we were having fun."

I won't answer to that question. I can't. Because yes, I did have fun. But I have also been craving something true. Something real. And from the moment I took Katie out, I'm hers. No more distractions. No more side-gigs. I am hers, body and soul.

Even if she won't have me.

"It's because of the Blake girl, isn't it?", she spits out her name, like it were poison on her lips. "The one you kissed at the game."

"You were there?", I ask her, if only to change the topic. She doesn't need to know how I feel for Katie. Because the moment Julia knows, everybody knows.

"Yeah, I was there with Xander", she replies. She covers her mouth as she realises her mistake. "Nevertheless", she begins again. "You could imagine my surprise when I look up and suddenly see Callum Slade kissing someone on the kiss cam." She exhales loudly. "Are you two an item?"

I don't bother responding.

An evil laughter escapes her. "Why do I even bother asking? Of course you aren't. Not with Aaron Blake around."

"That's none of your business", I hiss.

She only continues laughing. "Of course it is. You decide to end it for me for what? A fantasy? You kissed your precious blondie once, so what?! You got lucky. But you're signing your death wish chasing her. Sooner or later you'll realise she isn't available, or isn't what you want, and you'll come running back to me." She smirks. "Which is fine. Because you'll realise my pussy is twice the one she has. And based on how she acts, I bet she doesn't even know how to give a blowjob. And we both know those are the ones you like most."

I was raised with manners. Mom always told me to never raise my tone at a woman. But the moment she started talking shit about Katie, something snapped. "Don't. Dare. Speak. Out. Her. Name. Again", I hiss. Then, taking a deep breath to calm out my nerves, but not really turning out successful, I add: "Do you understand me?"

She nods, yet I can spot the worries in her expression. She quickly hides them though. "Wow, you really grew a soft spot for her. I hope she ends you. I really hope she destroys your soul. You son of a-"

"Watch it", I cut her short.

She keeps yelling at me yet I walk around her and open my car door, slipping inside. She bangs her fist against it, yet I only stare at her from the car. As I start driving from there, I see her showing her middle finger at me in the rear view mirror.

Is she worth it, Cal? Is she really worth all of this?

Julia was right. I'm romanticising a fantasy. Katie and I are too far away to ever meet. Not with everything in between.

You know she's worth it. She has always been.

And here come my delusions again.